BestieTalks

BestieTalks

Managing Your Mental Health

by 18 Comments

Taking Care of YOU

There are many facets to taking care of yourself. One of the most challenging aspects of our health is our mental health. Mental health is not something that is normally taught to children. We are told we need to exercise and eat healthily but how many times were we told how to handle our thoughts and mental health? Not many. We just go through life trying to navigate the countless thoughts and feelings we have, and most of the time we are hesitant to talk about them.  Why do we do this? It’s ok to talk about what you are feeling and your mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. Recognizing, accepting and doing what YOU need to do to be happy and in a positive headspace, is part of taking care of your mental health. Taking care of YOU matters.

Social Media & Mental Health

Social media is a huge contributor to the state of one’s mental health. I (Jess) deleted my Facebook more than a year ago and it alleviated so much social anxiety. I developed a love/hate relationship with social media but always felt like I “had” to keep it in order to stay in touch with people, stay up to date and to even stay relevant. It sounds silly in hindsight, but its the truth. It was hard at first but as time passed, I started to live more in the present moment instead of mindlessly scrolling. Ask yourself, ” How many of these people on my timeline TRULY care about me?” Why do we feel such a strong need to comment and like people’s pictures like we haven’t seen or physically spoke within years or maybe ever? Just because you used to know someone, doesn’t mean you still do. If social media for any reason causes you anxiety, sadness or feelings of inadequacy- take a break from it.  In my personal journey, I learned so much about myself once I disconnected from the toxicity of Facebook. I don’t know if I will ever go back to FB, but I’m happy and that’s all that matters to me right now.

Key Reminders:

  • Unfollow negative people or pages that make you feel down on yourself. 
  • Allow time to “disconnect” or take a social media detox and be in the present moment.
  • Remember that not everything is as it appears online.
  • You have no obligation to stay in touch with people who don’t stay in touch with you.
  • “Likes” and the number of friends really means nothing at the end of the day. It’s quality over quantity, ALWAYS!
  • If it does not bring you joy then do you really need it?

Recognizing How You Feel

We all live such busy and fast-paced lives that sometimes we forgot to slow down and just breathe. Taking the time to evaluate how you feel and gauge the status of your mental health is so important. This is called being mindful. We feel different every day and accepting that you will have bad days allows you to be proactive and manage them better. Notice when you are feeling emotions that interrupt your day in a negative aspect. Take the time to evaluate why you feel the way you do and what triggered it. Having these mindful pauses will help you evaluate your body. You are allowed to feel whatever it is that you feel. Nothing is wrong with you because your mental health is not 100% 24/7. No one is perfect and no one has the right to make you feel ashamed for feeling the way you do. Take notice of people who drain you of your energy. Pay attention to who is and isn’t there for you in a time of need. Recognize how you feel and what promotes a positive headspace. You are in control of your happiness and if you need to make a drastic change for the sake of your mental health and well being.. then do it and don’t worry about who might have something to say about it.

Key Reminders:

  • Take time for yourself to do the things that make you happy.
  • Remove toxic people and end toxic relationships (with friends, family, colleagues, etc).
  • Remind yourself of all the things/people/experiences you are thankful for.
  • Confide in someone that you trust and that won’t judge you. Find a positive outlet.
  • Learn to be okay with being alone sometimes.
  • Trust your gut feeling. 
  • Love yourself and let go of expectations and the need for acceptance from others.

Mindfulness

I (Ray) am required to be trained and teach Dynamic Mindfulness in the classroom to my students. We use these skills in order to teach them how to manage their stress, self-awareness, and self-regulation. The techniques are there for you to focus on your breathing as well as connecting your breath to movement and being in the moment. Dynamic Mindfulness has been proven to improve school and classroom climate as well as the well being and health of the students. All of these techniques and skills can be adapted to fit your everyday life and that is what we teach our students. The techniques we use can be done by anyone just about anywhere. We encourage them to use these skills whenever needed and hope they carry them into adulthood.

Take A Moment

Taking time for yourself and your mental health is not selfish. You are important! Taking time to be aware of the now, will help you realize what may be good for you and the things that are harmful to your mental health. Be mindful of your mental health and reach out to a professional for help. You never have to go through anything alone. Help is out there and we will happily lead you in the right place to better your mental health. We both have family members who suffer from depression, schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety. We understand the havoc depression and anxiety can have on your life. You’re not alone – even if at times it might feel like it.

You are allowed to have bad days but you don’t have to go through them alone!

Please share how you deal with episodes of depression or what you have done/changed to better your mental health!

6+
Wanna Share This Talk?

10 Easy Ways to Relieve Stress

by 34 Comments

Easy but Effective Tips to Kick Your Stress

Stress is a part of life. Some of us are better equipped at handling stressful situations while others struggle with figuring out how to relieve stress. Some stress is worse than others, but knowing how to deal with it and figuring out what works for you, is super important to finding balance. Having a go-to activity that promotes happiness, positivity and a sense of calm can help you relax, focus, and deal with stress more effectively. We put together a list of 10 easy ways to relieve stress. Some of these you might already do but maybe you will find a new one that sounds appealing! Let’s get to it!

10 Easy Ways to Relieve Stress

  1. Cleaning: There is something soooo therapeutic about cleaning, especially when you are stressed. Cleaning up your space and home can help relieve stress by focusing on other things and getting out of your head. Having a nice clean and decluttered home can promote relaxation. Light some candles and incense and put on some music and scrub & sweep you stress away!
  2. Workout: Sweating is a great way to relieve stress. A workout can be as hardcore or as gentle as you need. Sometimes you might need an intense long-distance run, other days you just might need some yoga and deep breathing. Listen to what your body needs and work out that stress with some physical activity!
  3. Sex: This can also count as a workout! Sex is a great way to relieve stress. Grab your partner and roll around in the sack for a bit to fight off some of that stress you are dealing with. If you don’t have someone to jump into bed with, there are other options that can be done solo..but we will leave that for another article :)!
  4. Take a nice warm bath or shower: Jump in the tub for a relaxing soak! Light some candles, pour in some Epsom salt and essential oils to make it a truly therapeutic experience. Read a book, listen to some calming music, or even watch a movie on your phone. A nice hot bath like this before bed should definitely help you to fall asleep much easier!
  5. Tackle that To-Do list: Sometimes things that we have yet to get done can lead to stress because we know it’s still lingering. Try taking care of small of the things on your to-do list and see if you feel any better after. Even checking off the smallest of tasks can promote a sense of accomplishment and give you one less thing to worry about.
  6. Call someone you makes you happy: Sometimes all we need is to talk to someone who can brighten our day and make our mood better. Call someone who you can just be yourself with and maybe even vent about the things that are stressing you out. They might have suggestions on how to combat that stress or just hearing their voice and having a casual conversation can be a huge stress reliever.
  7. Cooking: Cooking is one of our favorite ways to relax. Being in the kitchen and whipping up some delicious food is a good distraction from things that are stressing you out. See what you have on hand in your pantry or maybe hit up the grocery store to get the ingredients for your favorite meal! Food has a way to make you smile, even on the shittiest of days!
  8. Write it out: Write down what is stressing you out. Maybe even write down solutions or a game plan to tackle that stress. Sometimes writing things down can be a great release and it also lets you see your stress/problems in plain view. Acknowledging what is stressing you out and figuring out how to resolve it can be a great tactic!
  9. Read a book: Reading is a great escape. Reading allows you to escape your current reality and dive into a completely new one. Sometimes the brain just needs something else to focus on and a book can give you just that! Getting out of your head and into a book for a little bit might be just what you need to kick your stress to the curb!
  10. Watch your favorite movie/show: Binge watching your favorite show might help you forget about some of that stress for a bit. Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and just chill the fuck out for a bit. Put away your phone and just focus on whatever it is you’re watching. After an hour you might find yourself thinking differently about what was stressing you out.

Did any of these tips speak to you?!

Can you vouch for any of these tips? Do any of them currently work for you? Please share your favorite way to relieve stress! The better we understand ourselves and find ways to stay calm, even during the rockiest of days, will make us better equipped at handling issues as they come at us. Life is a constant flow of high’s and low’s, but learning how to not let the low’s pull us under is all we can ask for. 

Thank YOU for reading!!     

5+
Wanna Share This Talk?

Things To-Do While in Isolation

by 26 Comments

Things-To-Do During COVID-19 Isolation

Globally we are going currently going through a virus crisis known as Coronavirus (COVID-19). This pandemic has us kept indoors while we all practice “social distancing”.  A lot of people are working from home and others are working from home while simultaneously watching their kids (as possible as that is). All of our situations are different but one thing we all have in common is the fact that we have a lot of extra time on our hands. Times like this can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, and boredom, which is why finding things to occupy your time with is so important. 

We are sharing different things you can do depending on what it is you are needing. Our tips range from fitness to relaxation and hope that you find one or two that speak to you and your family!

Health and Fitness

  • Stream free workout videos or invest in a new subscription if you find one you really love!
  • Try out a new fitness activity that you have been considering but never gave a shot – we recommend yoga!
  • Jump rope to get your heart rate up and shake the stress away – check out this article to see the benefits of jump roping.
  • Give meditation a try! Lots of guided versions on YouTube, Podcasts, and apps. 
  • Get up from your workstation once an hour and do between 25-50 squats, pushups, sit-ups and or jumping jacks. Small increments can make a big difference!
  • Go for a walk or run – if you have a dog, then this should be your daily go-to!
  • Incorporate more stretching into your day.
  • Look up new recipes or finally try out the ones you have had bookmarked forever- Our Pinterest features a ton of healthy recipes!
  • Scour Pinterest for new workouts and/or recipes. 

Productivity

  • Organize your closet and get a donation bag going. This is a great time to give to those in need.
  • Each day pick a new room or area to organize – by the time we beat this virus you’re home will be looking amazing and clutter-free!
  • Pull out the couches and hard to reach entertainment areas and do a deep cleaning.
  • Organize your pantry.
  • Color code your library collection.
  • Clean up your resume.
  • Teach yourself new skills that you know you need to better your career (PowerPoint, Excel, etc). There are ENDLESS videos on YouTube for pretty much anything you want to learn.
  • Go through your bills and make sure everything is up to date.
  • Clean out old photos from your phone.
  • Go through your junk drawer and make it an organized drawer.
  • Clean up your email and make new folders for important docs.
  • Organize your mail and make a new designated area/folder for the stuff you need to follow up on. Don’t ignore those bills.
  • Set reminders in your email to reoccur for important dates each month (i.e. bills, birthdays, meetings and appointments).
  • Unsubscribe from unnecessary emails that you get. 
  • Clean out and rearrange your garage. 
  • Put together a photo album of all the loose pictures you have. 

Self Care and Relaxation

  • Read a book.
  • Soak in the bath.
  • Binge watch a new show- click here for a great list on binge-worthy streaming!
  • Start journaling. If you don’t have a notebook, you can use your computer or Notes app.
  • Have a stay in date night with your significant other. You can even include the kids and have them be your waiters.
  • Give yourself a deep conditioning hair mask – you don’t have anywhere to go so leave it on for as long as you want!
  • Try out a DIY face mask.
  • Light candles and incense and put on your favorite lunge clothes and watch a movie, new or old.
  • Give yourself a pedicure.
  • If you live with your significant other – give each other massages.

Beat Boredom

  • Play a board game with your partner or kids. You can even ask a neighbor if you can borrow one of their game boards. 
  • Find a new game on your phone or computer.
  • Call or FaceTime someone you miss and that will put a smile on your face. 
  • Write a letter.
  • If you have a sectional couch you can push them all together to make what we call a “couch bed”. Now you can lay in your living room and your big comfy ass couch bed.
  • Build a fort.
  • Feng Shui your living room or any room in your home.
  • Clean something! There has to be something in your space that can use some elbow grease!
  • Color, paint or draw. This can be fun to do as a family too. 
  • Look up DIY science experiments. There are so many out there. 
  • Look at animal or comedy sketch videos on YouTube.
  • Go to a rabbit hole on Youtube about your favorite conspiracy theory.
  • Put on your favorite album and turn it up loud so you can dance and sing your ass off.
  • Make a vision board.
  • Catch up on a series or show. 
  • Play with your cat, dog or whatever animal you might have.
  • Family karaoke.
  • Have a themed dinner night and include the whole family. Let everyone get dressed up and talk with accents.
  • Do some gardening.
  • Have a picnic in your backyard. 
  • Make a music video or a tik tok with your family. 
  • Go camping in your backyard.
  • Have a family fashion show.
  • Play Hide and Seek.
  • Bake cookies or another dessert based on ingredients you have on hand!

We’re All in This Together

We know all of this that we are going through can be overwhelming. Take the time to breathe, let your children express their true feelings and don’t focus too much on the media. Be thankful for this time with your family but also be smart with the time you have. One day we are all going to look back on this and describe to others how it impacted our lives. Let this impact be a more positive one rather than negative. Please, share what you and your families are doing during this quarantine time in a comment below. Wishing you the best, always!

5+
Wanna Share This Talk?

Tips to Feel Instantly Happy

by 1 Comment

Feeling Happy

We all go through moments of feeling down. Sometimes it can be hard to shake the funk but having some good tips and resources can help make shaking it easier. We are here to share some of our favorite ways to feel instantly happy! Try them out whenever you need them. 

  • Smile – Smiling can instantly boost your mood when you’re feeling down and blue. Smiling can be used as a stress and pain reliever lowers your blood pressure and can improve relationships. Smiling can be contagious, so don’t be afraid to smile at someone because they may need it just as much as you. 
  • Laugh – Laughing decreases your stress hormones and triggers a release of endorphins (we LOVE endorphins!). Whatever gets you laughing (comedies, jokes, watching funny YouTube videos), DO IT! You’ll instantly be forced to smile and start to feel better. Laughing produces endorphins which give you a natural high. 
  • Workout – Working out is another endorphin releaser. It can be something as simple as going for a run, walk, jump roping, yoga or stretching. Working out increases your energy levels and is an instant mood booster (along with so many other benefits) plus, you never regret it once you’re done.
  • Compliment Someone– Usually, when you compliment someone, they thank you and smile back. This leaves you with that good warm feeling inside. There are both mental and emotional health benefits from giving compliments or showing kindness, such as; decreased stress, pain, insomnia, and affects the immune system and production of serotonin.  
  • Call a Loved One – Call someone who is a positive and happy person. Your bestie, significant other, sibling, family member, or an old friend who you have been meaning to catch up with. Whoever you decide to call just make sure it is someone who is typically a positive and happy person who has a good conversation. Whatever you do, DON’T call someone who likes to complain or always has issues. These types of people will not help you. Whoever makes you smile by thinking of them is the person to call!
  • Clean – Cleaning up around the house can really clear your mind and make you happier. When you clean you are less likely to think about whatever it is that has you upset. Cleaning keeps you busy and gets your body moving which distracts you from being stuck in your head. Plus, a clean home is a wonderful way to promote happiness. 
  • Soak in the Tub – Take a nice long soothing bath or shower! Light some candles or incense, use a bath bomb or a few drops of lavender essential oil. Set the mood and just relax! Put away your phone and grab a book or a magazine or just listen to some music and let your mind wander. You could even throw on a comedy on Netflix while chillin’ in the bath. 
  • Food – Food is something that has a way to make almost anyone smile. Cooking a new or favorite recipe is a great way to get yourself out of a bad mood. If you don’t have the patience for cooking that day then go pick up your favorite meal or dessert. Treat yourself and I bet you will smile!
  • Meditate – Light some candles and just meditate. If you are not at home you can easily meditate on the go as well. Having a rough day at work? Go out to your car and just sit and relax for a few minutes or go for a walk and find a quiet area to just sit in silence. There are plenty of guided meditations online if you wanted to go a different route. Time alone for just 10 minutes can help bring you back to happiness and help you find balance. 
  • Animals and Kids – Animals and kids have a way of making you smile without even trying. Go visit your nieces/nephews if you don’t have children of your own. Speaking from experience, a Facetime with my nieces makes me laugh constantly. Kids are hilarious and have a way of making you forget all the grown-up shit you are worrying about. Animals have the same impact. Play with your cat or take your dog to the park. Don’t have any animals?  YouTube has animal videos galore! Also, certain cities have cat cafes where you can go and play with a dozen cats for $20! Maybe even go adopt a new cat or dog and have daily happiness for the next 10+ years 🙂
  • Music – Certain music can put you in a positive happy mood. This type of music may be different for everyone. Again, music is known to lower stress levels, enhances your mood, reduces depression, relaxes your body, and increases verbal intelligence. Find music that makes you happy or takes you to your happy place. Plus, dancing is a great way to promote happiness! Next time you’re feeling down just get up, blast some music and dance like nobody is watching!!

Do What Makes You Happy

We understand that every day is not going to be the greatest day of your life and that’s ok! Just believe in finding the best in every day regardless of the unpleasant circumstances we might find ourselves in. BestieTalks hope these tips will help you find your smile when you’re feeling down and out. Please share with us your favorite things to do to turn your mood and day around! We love learning new tips!

4+
Wanna Share This Talk?

10 Beauty Secrets to Live By

by 11 Comments

10 Beauty Secrets to Add to Your Regime

Over the years we have learned so much about what works and doesn’t work for our skin. Some products work better than others and what irritates one persons skin might not affect another. There are lots of variables when it comes to skin care. We complied a list of 10 beauty secrets that work no matter what type of complexion you have. These secrets are things you might already know or do but hopefully there is at least one gem in here that you can add to your regime. These 10 beauty secrets are simple and easy to add to your regime and provide major and lasting results.

  1. Always wash your face! Twice a day. No matter what is going on in your life always make time to wash your face.

  2. Clean your cell phone. I sanitize my cell phone almost daily. There is SO much bacteria on your phone and resting that across your cheeks is all bad! Clean it constantly!
  3. Tea Tree oil is great for spot treatment. I get dry areas around my scalp from time to time, and a little tea tree oil helps clear those right up! Great for pimple spot treatment too. Just dilute it with a bit of water, so you don’t irritate your skin!
  4. Vitamin C serum. We are obsessed with ours and use it every day! We have noticed a considerable change in our skin. Both of us have entirely different complexions, and it works wonderfully for both of us. Click here to check out the one we use.
  5. Don’t workout with makeup on. Never, ever, ever!! Sweat and makeup just makes us think of clogged pores, and that makes us sad. Remove your makeup before putting in that hard work. Trust us, you look hot working out without makeup on.

    Remove your makeup before working out!
  6. Look for products with fewer chemicals in them. Refrain from using scented lotions on your face. Gentle and natural products are the way to go when it comes to moisturizing your face. Body lotions shouldn’t be applied to your face. Leave the smelly creams for your body. The thicker consistency in body lotions along with the added fragrance will clog your pores. Just don’t do it. 
  7. Less is more! We know there are times and special occasions when you want/need a full face of makeup, have a pimple to cover up or just want to feel beautiful! Makeup is fun and we love it but we also love going bare faced. I haven’t worn foundation for a few months, and my skin is thankful. My acne prone skin has responded so well to me using less product. I do keep a little emergency bottle of concealer but don’t use it unless I truly need it. Try going with minimal to no makeup every now and then and let your skin just breathe and be.  

    Sometimes less is more!
  8. Wash your pillowcase at least once a week. Bacteria builds up quickly on your pillowcase. I wash my pillowcase and sheets at least once a week. You lay on your pillow every night, so it makes sense for it to be a clean area where you rest your face, right?! Right.
  9.  Drink lots of water! This is something everyone knows, but not everyone does it. But, seriously up your water intake and we guarantee you will see new and improved skin over the next few weeks. Water will make your face naturally glow– without a filter. Bonus tip: throw in some lemon to get added benefits.
  10.  Clean your makeup brushes and pads! This is another thing that all of us know, but not all of us do. There are makeup cleaners you can buy, or you can mix a little Dawn dish soap with olive oil for a DIY makeup brush cleaner. Your brushes are perfect hiding spots for bacteria to hide out and then get wiped on your face, EWWWWW! Clean your makeup brushes just like you would clean your pillowcases and cell phones!  

Love Your Skin!

We hope you found at least one of these secrets helpful. Basic common cleaning techniques can have a huge impact on the quality of your skin. Will you be incorporating any of these into your beauty regime? Do you already do some of these? What is YOUR favorite beauty secret? Please share with us!

5+
Wanna Share This Talk?

Interracial Friendships: Part Two

by 3 Comments

Ebony and Ivory 

Last Fall we were contacted by a writer, Charmin Michelle, from XoNecole.com.  She found us on IG using #ebonyandivory and reached out to see if we were interested in being interviewed about our interracial friendship.  Umm.. OF COURSE WE WERE INTERESTED!

Necole Bitchie = XO Necole

For those that might not be familiar with XoNecole, it used to be called Necole Bitchie and we used to read it TOUGH back in the day. It used to be more of a gossip website and it was an extremely well-composed blog.  We were super bummed when Necole stepped back from blogging and shut down her site. It was one of those sites that you peeped daily. But, now she is back with a new vibe and new grown woman site (that we absolutely love). Getting asked to be featured on XoNecole after all of the years of being a loyal reader of Necole Bitchie, made this an extra special opportunity that we couldn’t pass up.

Click here for quick access to the article!

The Interview

The interview consisted of questions surrounding our interracial friendship, how it has evolved and what we have learned from one another. An all-around glimpse into friendships of black and white women in today’s society. Part one of this interview was from the white friends perspective and Part two is from the black friends perspective. If you didn’t get a chance to check it out, Click here to read Part One first! We would love for you to check out what was said on this topic! This article is so special to us and know there are other friendships out there that can relate!

As always, we are so glad you stopped by Bestietalks! We would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and personal feelings about interracial friendships!

0
Wanna Share This Talk?