BestieTalks

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5 Goals For 2019- How To Successfully Focus On The Things That Matter To You

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Setting Goals That are Achievable

Every New Year people all around the world make resolutions. But how many of those resolutions do people successfully achieve? Instead of making “resolutions” this year we are going to set goals. Goals that we know are achievable if we put in the right amount of time and commitment. The goals that we will be setting will be goals that will not only improve our lives but also bring happiness and self-love. Goals you decide to set for yourself can range from easy to difficult but they should never be unattainable. The goal is not to set yourself up for failure but to set yourself up for a challenge. A challenge to better yourself and your life. 

5 Goals for 2019

  1. Travel: Traveling is something that we both love. Traveling allows you to experience new places, cultures, things ideas, and people. Traveling can be a break from your everyday life and can become an escape for fun and the opportunity to make new memories. A lot of people associate traveling with being expensive- and yes it can be very expensive but there are ways to travel on a budget as well. You don’t need to leave the country to have a new experience ( but if you have the opportunity to do so- DO IT! ). We love picking new cities to meet in and have mini vacations exploring a new place. If you want to focus on going somewhere new, start following prices on flights and looking at hotels and start budgeting. We do this for all our trips. Once you find the flight at an unbeatable price, purchase it and the rest will begin to fall in place. Traveling can be as simple as a road trip to the mountains or as grand as hiking Mount Everest. Whatever your travel goal is, set it and start working towards it piece by piece. Together, we hope to explore new cities, swim at new beaches and indulge in a culture foreign to us.
  2. Self Care: This is a particular goal that we believe EVERYONE should make. This goal can mean so many different things which is why it is such a practical goal. For 2019, our self-care is going to consist of surrounding ourselves with positive people, maintaining our fitness routines, fueling our body with healthy food and making time for ourselves. Treat yourself to a massage more than one time a year, take more bubble baths, be okay with telling people “no” when you rather stay home and get a good nights rest. I tend to be my own worst critic and I fully intend on loving myself more this year. Self Love = Self Care. Loving yourself does not make you a narcissist or self-absorbed. Loving yourself helps make the best version of you shine through. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different. Love yourself this new year more than you EVER have!
  3. BestieTalks: We launched BestieTalks in March 2018. Over the past 9 months, we have learned so much about ourselves and our abilities. We are excited to continue our BestieTalks journey to see what we can accomplish this year. We got cute matching planners that come with daily, weekly, and monthly goals. We have our goals set for January and we intend on achieving every single one. What we don’t achieve in one month will carry over to the next month until that goal is met. We are also attending our first BlogHer conference in a few weeks and cannot wait to network with other bloggers. Starting off the new year by attending a blogging conference is the perfect way for us to kick off a fresh new year of making BestieTalks the best it can be!  
  4. Life: Outside of BestieTalks we also have personal life goals. Jessica plans on starting the hunt for her next position that she wants to pursue within her company. She is ready to put her degree to use and take on a position with more responsibility and a role where she can learn new things. Ray is looking forward to finishing her degree and applying for different positions in her career, while also enjoying the last year in her selfish 20’s. We both hope to grow our families but that is all in its own time. Staying in touch and seeing more family is an important goal for us. Life gets crazy and people begin to get wound up in their own things but family means so much, so it’s necessary to keep them as a high priority.  
  5. Love: Love means so many things to us. Our spouse, families, pets, friends etc. but this year our goal is to spread as much love as we can to others and to ourselves. Acts of love and kindness to those we know and don’t know are so important, especially in today’s world. Love is something we plan to focus on every day this year. Reach out to that person that you have been thinking about, or pick up a thoughtful card and mail it to a family member or friend. This year we plan to focus on things and people that matter to us. Focus our attention and energy on projects/goals that we love because time goes by too quickly to waste time on things that we don’t love. This year, love is what we want to spread!

You got This!

We try to look at our goals as lifestyle changes instead of resolutions. After the hype of the new year dies off so does the excitment of resolutions. Instead, try to keep up the motivation by looking at your goals as permament changes in your life. If it’s important to you now, then it should still be important to you 6 months from now. Pick some goals and stick with them! YOU GOT THIS!

 

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How To Set Realistic Goals- Set Yourself Up For Success

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Pick Your Goals Wisely

Picking, setting, and executing goals can seem like a daunting task. So many goals are made and fail before they even start. This is because most of the time those goals are not thoughtfully picked out. Instead of just picking goals like ” I’m going to start working out more ” or ” I’m going to start eating better ” or “I want to save more money ” what about picking out more detailed, realistic, and focused goals?  Instead, ” I’m going to work at least 4 days a week ” or ” I’m going to start packing my own healthy lunch ” or  ” I’m going to analyze my monthly spending and save $200 from each paycheck”. How you specify your goals matters. Take the time to think about what you really want to achieve and then spend that same time setting realistic goals and milestones. The time spent picking out your goals is just as important as achieving them.

 5 Ingredients to Goal Success

Positivity: This is critical when it comes to reaching goals. Picking a goal and going after it with a positive mindset will set you up for success. If you can’t find positivity in your goals then those aren’t the right goals for you. Finding a goal to focus on that makes you happy and betters your life will trigger a positive outlook and mindset. Negativity, self-doubt, criticism, and perfectionism are all things that will make your journey more difficult. Remember: reaching your goals is about progress not about perfection.


Time Frames: Great things take time! You will not be able to achieve all of your goals overnight. Give yourself time frames that are realistic. Don’t put too much stress on yourself to the point where you are no longer enjoying your goals. If you start dreading the idea of your goals and see yourself slowly giving up.. STOP and reevaluate your goals and their time-frames. Instead of going to the gym 5 days this week, maybe just go 3 or 4 but give those 3-4 workouts all you got! Don’t give up on your goals, maybe all they need is to be tweaked a little bit. They are YOUR goals. Make them work for YOU. 

Importance: Prioritizing your goals can be very helpful. Putting your goals in a list from most important to least important can help you focus on what you may need to work on more. With some goals, you might have to work on them daily and others not as often. It is important to know how much that goal means to you and what it is going to take to achieve it. 

Accountability: Being held accountable while working towards your goal can make all the difference. Having to check in on your goal can show how much effort you are putting towards it. That accountability can be telling your significant other to make sure you guys pack a lunch three times a week together. Trying to reach a goal with someone can be accountability in itself. We know some people who check in on Facebook after the gym and they use that as their accountability. Whatever you do to hold yourself accountable, incorporate that and you will be that much closer to your goal. 

Realistic: Make your goals realistic and achievable. Like stated before, making specific detailed goals will help you with this. Instead of saying something general like “I’m gonna lose 50 pounds this year”, start by saying ” I will workout weekly with a goal to lose 6 pounds a month”. Dreams are different from goals. Goals are set and met where dreams are lived. So, make your goals realistic for YOU. Start with something basic and see how you can make it more specific for your life. 

Set & Conquer! 

Now that we went over the five ways to set your goals, go conquer them! If you have any ways you succeed at your goals, please share them with us. Happy goal setting!

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Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Everyone on Your List!

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Stuff Those Stockings With Fun!

Finding stocking stuffers is so much fun for us. That’s because we love to fill them with random fun! This is where you put those prank gifts, tiny surprises, small thoughtful items and things that you randomly find that remind you of that person. Stockings are fun for all ages. You can get creative and make them them the highlight of Christmas morning! We are here to give you some insight on where to find the cheapest and fun stocking stuffers. 

 

Stocking Stuffer Search

  • Dollar Tree– The Dollar Tree is such a score on so many random goodies. We can literally find something for every stocking (and even stockings themselves). They have year around things like school supplies, candles, kitchen products, mini-games, tools and more. Dollar Tree has tons of snacks too!  These items can easily be thrown into stockings for just about anyone. And since it is the Dollar Tree, you can load up if your pocketbook allows you. 
  • Target– Target has that cheap section in front of their store where nothing is priced over $5! That is a go-to spot for us. Target is so trendy and cute and always has “what’s in” for that special someone. You can find coloring books, small toys, mini makeup, accessories and so much more. Next time you are in Target (and we all know that will be soon), take a look with stocking stuffing in mind.  
  • Walgreens– I know what you’re saying… Walgreens? Yes, Walgreens! They have some great everyday deals and a double score if you have rewards account with them. I go here for the sweet tooth in my life. I can find candy bars 2 for $1, and tons of other candies at a discounted price. Make sure you take a look at their discount aisle. This is where they place an orange sale sticker on items and they are majorly discounted. I’ve found Disney toys, perfumes, nail polishes, gardening supplies, chapsticks and so much more here. Finally, they also sell ‘As Seen On T.V.’ items that are so randomly cool. If you prefer CVS over Walgreens- they are just about one and the same! CVS is great for stocking stuffers too!
  • Five Below –  This store has TONS of options for stocking stuffers and yes, everything is $5 and below! This store is easily found in many states and if you don’t have this specific store then maybe you have a similar one that comes to mind. TOYS GALORE! Great store for the kid’s stockings! This store was like totally made for Christmas stockings! Stockings are meant to be filled with fun knick-knacks and this store is just the place for that! Go crazy and you won’t break the bank!
  • Amazon – You knew this one was coming! Duh, Amazon! Amazon has great stuff for any and all occasions and stuffing those stockings is no exception! You can search by, ” Stocking suffers for men” or ” Stocking stuffers for girls under $10″ etc. I have used Amazon for a lot of the stocking stuffers for the adults in my life. Unique and affordable items shipped right to my doorstep. 
  • TJ Maxx / Marshalls / Ross / – These department stores are great for a few reasons. First, they aren’t in the mall so you can avoid that whole circus but hitting up one of these stores. Secondly, they have great finds that are affordable and unique. You can find makeup items, clothing items, home goods etc. They even have toys and stuff for the kiddos. These are all good stops for finding things to stuff your stockings with!
  • Walmart – This is a good stop for all things Christmas related. Ran out of lights while decorating the tree?! Swing by Walmart to pick up a pack of lights and also check out the Christmas section. There are TONS of stocking stuffer ideas. We all know Walmart has just about everything you could want and you could fill your stockings with countless items from here. Walmart might not be as cute as Target but their price tag will make you smile. 
  • PetSmart– Don’t forget the furry children in your life! You can find great little gifts for your animals at pretty much all of the stores we mentioned above. We love giving our pets gifts on Christmas too. They are part of the family!

Happy Stocking Shopping!

We are less than 20 days away from Christmas! We hope you are enjoying this time of year and not letting the stress get the best of you! Remember, it’s not the amount of money spent but the thought that counts. Have fun while picking out gifts and finding the perfect stocking stuffers! The best part about stockings is that there is no blueprint or wrong way to do them!

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5 Ways to Minimize Holiday Stress

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The Most Wonderful or Stressful Time of Year?

December is a month that either you love, hate or tolerate. For some, Christmas is a very stressful time of year. Between all the decorations, food, parties, gifts to buy, traveling and entertaining family and friends and money, it is easy to let stress get the best of you.  We get so caught up in all the things that we feel we “have to do” for Christmas that we forget the meaning of Christmas. What about making it a priority to just enjoy the month of December? Choosing to be happy instead of stressed? We have 5 ways to help you make this Christmas one to remember- not one you want to forget.

5 Ways To Minimize Holiday Stress

  1. Avoid the mall: The mall this time of year is a fucking zoo! People everywhere and parking is a pain in the ass. You’re stressed before you even get into the mall! How about avoiding it altogether? Last year was my first year doing all of my shopping outside of the mall and it was a success! It’s easier than ever to get everything you need online. Amazon, Target, Walmart (free 2-day shipping w/out a membership) are all the obvious choices to find just about anything and everything on your gift list. FashionNova.com is another personal favorite if you are shopping for someone who loves clothes and they ALWAYS have discount codes you can easily find online. H&M, Victoria’s Secret, Wayfair, and Barnes & Noble are all great online shopping options as well! 
  2. Make Time for Yourself: Ok, so you just wrapped 73 gifts and decorated the entire house to look like the North Pole. That deserves a break and some relaxation. Watch your favorite Christmas movie and just CHILL. Make yourself some tea or your favorite cocktail and cuddle up on the couch. Read a book that you have been wanting to finish or take a bubble bath. You don’t need to give every minute of your day to others. You matter too and pampering yourself can be a gift to yourself! Self-care is important! Just remember to slow down and smile 🙂 
  3. Combat Stress With a Workout: Yes, exercise is pretty much our answer to all of our problems. It just makes you happy! Endorphins pumping lead to smiling and reducing stress. It’s a fact. Keep up with your workout routine during the holidays or start a new one if you already don’t have one. Hit up a yoga studio, the gym, go for a run or walk, jump-rope at home etc. Just do something to work your body and release that stress! If you don’t want to pay for a membership you can always do workouts at home following a YouTube channel!
  4. Be okay with Saying “No”: Lots of people want your time during the holiday season and that can be overwhelming. Saying no to some things is completely fine and can help you feel less stress. Spreading yourself too thin is a major cause of stress so try to stay away from doing that. Instead, communicate with people and they should respect your decision. It is a busy time of year so, using your time wisely will help you decrease stress. Weekends can be filled with parties, get-togethers and other events but don’t think you have to be apart of every single one. 
  5. Enjoy this time of year: The Holiday season can be stressful enough. Spending time with family can also be stressful for some people too. Do what makes you happy! That is what it is all about. Start a new tradition, do something with only your immediate family or a small group of friends. Things don’t always have to be so big and bold during the holiday season. If simplicity makes you happy, stick with that. Just enjoy this time of year because it will be over before you know it. 

Have a Merry Christmas

We hope that you found these tips useful and hopefully they inspired you to look at December in a different way. This really is a wonderful time of year and if you take the time to appreciate it you will have more happy memories and less stressful days. Cheers to a stress-free Christmas!

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Gift Guide For The Person Who Has Everything

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Gift Season

Tis the season for giving! But what do you give the person who seems to have everything? This is where we would like to help you out with our gift giving guide. 

Let the Giving Begin!

  • Subscription- A subscription is the type of gift that keeps on giving. Every year, I subscribe to a children’s magazine and have it sent to my niece’s house. I used to love receiving magazines in the mail as a kid and I wanted to keep the tradition going. Now, my nieces absolutely love getting their Highlights, Zoobooks, or National Geographic magazines in the mailbox. There is beauty box subscriptions and even yoga subscriptions! There’s pretty much a subscription box out there for everyone! Allure, Sephora, Buddhibox , etc. I was gifted the Buddhibox for my birthday and it is an amazing subscription. It comes with crystals, candles and all kinds of fabulous goodies! The Allure box is only $15 a month as well! Very affordable!
  • Cheap Hotel Stay- Providing someone with a paid hotel stay gives them an excuse to get out of town and explore another city. One to two nights is plenty as a gift. Groupon and Expedia have great hotel deals and make it easy to give this as a gift without letting the receiver know how much you spent. 
  • Nail, Massage or Day Spa Gift Card– If you know someone who loves getting their nails done or loves a good spa day then this is a great gift option! We both get our nails done religiously and trust us- a nail gift card would make someone totally happy! This could go to a male or female and they would happily pamper themselves.
  • Cookbooks or Cookware– Just about every other person out there is trying some sort of new diet or exploring alternative food options. A new Paleo, Vegan or Keto cookbook could help inspire them! Amazon is great for items like this as well. Simple but useful!
  • Pet Lover Gifts– Do you know someone who is completely obsessed with their animal?! Get creative and have a handmade portrait of them and their pet made on Etsy! There are so many cute and affordable options out there. There are vendors on Etsy who make beautiful artwork that can bring a photograph to life and make it into a piece of artwork! Just snoop your friends social media ( because you know they have their animal on there somewhere ) and send that pic over to the person you pick on Etsy and they will make you a keepsake gift to give this holiday season!
    I had this made of Neecy Girl via Etsy!Happy Gift Giving!

    Happy Gift Giving !

We hope that this quick gift guide gave you some inspiration for that person in your life who is tricky to shop for! Gifts are not about the cost but the meaning and thought behind them. These gifts are something that if given to the right person- they will be so thankful! Happy Holidays!!

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Guest Post : Making the Decision to end a Toxic Relationship

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Guest Post with Alana from SolelyLiving.Com

We teamed up with a fellow blogger named Alana. Here is a little bit from Alana about herself and her blog so you can get to know her a little bit more !

Hi there, I’m Alana Nicole! I’m a purebred Georgia Peach that loves apple pie and her dog more than words can express. I started Solely Living because I realized I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have it all figured out. I’m a paralegal, turned real estate professional, turned blogger! (​Whew! ) I was sick of having the same conversations with my besties and never getting any closer to figuring out the solutions. S.L. became my place to vent, let it all out and find my tribe. I created this lifestyle advice blog so other millennials can know they aren’t the only ones. I love connecting with the amazing women who seek my advice and give some of their own. We are here to learn from each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Making the Decision to End a Toxic Relationship

The story is usually about the same, right? Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. They meet for drinks, and a few weeks later are inseparable. Then, boy gets possessive/ controlling/ demanding/ aggressive/ needy/ annoying. (Circle all that apply.) Girl wants to end it but doesn’t know how without irritating him more. Girl ends up staying because it’s easier than leaving. Couple breaks up a few times but ultimately get back together after a few hours/days/weeks because, well, why not? Couple continues to live unhappily ever after until one of them finally steps away on faith.

If that ghost story sounds too familiar, I’m sorry you had to go through that. (I also want to make it clear that boys aren’t the only ones who can have those negative qualities, okay?) But, living in a home that feels like a cave doesn’t have to be your fate simply because you fell in love with someone who wasn’t quite right for you. Sometimes, your picker is a little off and you just need to re-calibrate.
But, ​how?

How do you leave someone you still kinda love without seeming like the bad guy? How do you keep your grace? How do you leave when it’s easier to​ ​​just stay? Sometimes fighting for your own well-being is more important than being timid. You have to take control over your life before you lose who you used to be without the person who’s been holding you back.

Here’s how I made that decision (​a few times…)

1. Write A Letter to Your Former Self  Tell her everything you thought she’d be and everything you need her to become. Tell her how you ended up here, why you aren’t happy and what makes you think you deserve better. Tell her everything you’ve been hiding from your friends, mom, aunts and siblings. Then, read it like it was your best friend telling how bad her relationship has gotten. Give her the best advice you can. Now, give that advice to yourself.

2. Create A Pros and Cons List of Your Relationship It might sound childish, but it works! What are you actually receiving from this relationship? What are you getting in return for being you? Which list is longer? Compare this list to what you always wanted from a partner. Do they make you laugh? Are they kind, sensible, sincere? Do you feel loved?

3. Figure Out Your Love Language People who love differently can love each other as long as they know ​how
​ to love each other. You can’t expect to be loved correctly when you aren’t attuned to how you need to be loved. Try this ​love languages test​, do some research and be honest with yourself. Have you gotten enough of the love you desire from your partner? Truth is, probably not, but have they even tried?

4. Step Out on Faith…In Yourself
You know what you want and you know you aren’t getting it. Now, you just have to trust in yourself. Pick a time and place that’s the most comfortable for you. Sit your partner down for a nice meal, go for a walk, get ice cream, whatever you need to do. Take your time, speak clearly and be in control. You know this is what’s right for both of you so now’s not the time to see both sides. Tell your partner what you’ve learned about yourself and your relationship through the steps you took above. Explain why you are looking for something different and why your particular puzzle pieces just don’t quite fit with each other. They don’t have to agree, like it or understand, but they do have to let you walk away.

Believing in yourself and standing your ground are two of the hardest qualities to possess but once you know who you are, no one will be able to make your soul waver again.

How to Connect With Alana

Did you vibe with this article from Alana? We sure did! Almost everyone has been in a toxic relationship at some point in their life and had to make the decision to end it. This could be a lover, friend, coworker or even a family member. Making the decision for YOU and what is best for YOU is SO important!

Connect with Alana for more of her articles!

Keep in touch : IG ​@SolelyLiving​ / Twitter @SolelyLiving​ / Pinterest ​@SolelyLiving​ / Facebook: SolelyLiving​ / ​Hello@SolelyLiving.com​ / ​www.SolelyLiving.com

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