BestieTalks

BestieTalks

Guest Post : Making the Decision to end a Toxic Relationship

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Guest Post with Alana from SolelyLiving.Com

We teamed up with a fellow blogger named Alana. Here is a little bit from Alana about herself and her blog so you can get to know her a little bit more !

Hi there, I’m Alana Nicole! I’m a purebred Georgia Peach that loves apple pie and her dog more than words can express. I started Solely Living because I realized I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have it all figured out. I’m a paralegal, turned real estate professional, turned blogger! (​Whew! ) I was sick of having the same conversations with my besties and never getting any closer to figuring out the solutions. S.L. became my place to vent, let it all out and find my tribe. I created this lifestyle advice blog so other millennials can know they aren’t the only ones. I love connecting with the amazing women who seek my advice and give some of their own. We are here to learn from each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Making the Decision to End a Toxic Relationship

The story is usually about the same, right? Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. They meet for drinks, and a few weeks later are inseparable. Then, boy gets possessive/ controlling/ demanding/ aggressive/ needy/ annoying. (Circle all that apply.) Girl wants to end it but doesn’t know how without irritating him more. Girl ends up staying because it’s easier than leaving. Couple breaks up a few times but ultimately get back together after a few hours/days/weeks because, well, why not? Couple continues to live unhappily ever after until one of them finally steps away on faith.

If that ghost story sounds too familiar, I’m sorry you had to go through that. (I also want to make it clear that boys aren’t the only ones who can have those negative qualities, okay?) But, living in a home that feels like a cave doesn’t have to be your fate simply because you fell in love with someone who wasn’t quite right for you. Sometimes, your picker is a little off and you just need to re-calibrate.
But, ​how?

How do you leave someone you still kinda love without seeming like the bad guy? How do you keep your grace? How do you leave when it’s easier to​ ​​just stay? Sometimes fighting for your own well-being is more important than being timid. You have to take control over your life before you lose who you used to be without the person who’s been holding you back.

Here’s how I made that decision (​a few times…)

1. Write A Letter to Your Former Self  Tell her everything you thought she’d be and everything you need her to become. Tell her how you ended up here, why you aren’t happy and what makes you think you deserve better. Tell her everything you’ve been hiding from your friends, mom, aunts and siblings. Then, read it like it was your best friend telling how bad her relationship has gotten. Give her the best advice you can. Now, give that advice to yourself.

2. Create A Pros and Cons List of Your Relationship It might sound childish, but it works! What are you actually receiving from this relationship? What are you getting in return for being you? Which list is longer? Compare this list to what you always wanted from a partner. Do they make you laugh? Are they kind, sensible, sincere? Do you feel loved?

3. Figure Out Your Love Language People who love differently can love each other as long as they know ​how
​ to love each other. You can’t expect to be loved correctly when you aren’t attuned to how you need to be loved. Try this ​love languages test​, do some research and be honest with yourself. Have you gotten enough of the love you desire from your partner? Truth is, probably not, but have they even tried?

4. Step Out on Faith…In Yourself
You know what you want and you know you aren’t getting it. Now, you just have to trust in yourself. Pick a time and place that’s the most comfortable for you. Sit your partner down for a nice meal, go for a walk, get ice cream, whatever you need to do. Take your time, speak clearly and be in control. You know this is what’s right for both of you so now’s not the time to see both sides. Tell your partner what you’ve learned about yourself and your relationship through the steps you took above. Explain why you are looking for something different and why your particular puzzle pieces just don’t quite fit with each other. They don’t have to agree, like it or understand, but they do have to let you walk away.

Believing in yourself and standing your ground are two of the hardest qualities to possess but once you know who you are, no one will be able to make your soul waver again.

How to Connect With Alana

Did you vibe with this article from Alana? We sure did! Almost everyone has been in a toxic relationship at some point in their life and had to make the decision to end it. This could be a lover, friend, coworker or even a family member. Making the decision for YOU and what is best for YOU is SO important!

Connect with Alana for more of her articles!

Keep in touch : IG ​@SolelyLiving​ / Twitter @SolelyLiving​ / Pinterest ​@SolelyLiving​ / Facebook: SolelyLiving​ / ​Hello@SolelyLiving.com​ / ​www.SolelyLiving.com

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Holidays with Eat Figs Not Pigs

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Eat Figs Not Pigs for the Holidays

We teamed up with our wonderful friends at Eat Figs Not Pigs, to discuss how to eat vegan during the holidays. The holidays are times for gathering with friends, family, and feasting together on wonderful food. Of course, not everyone is vegan, so finding a dish to make that everyone can enjoy can be tricky. If you are looking for something new to try this holiday season, maybe think about giving a vegan recipe a shot! Who knows, it just might end up being so good that no one can even tell it’s vegan!

Questions For Eat Figs Not Pigs

BestieTalks : The holidays are tricky as a vegan. I have experienced going to parties where there might be only one or two items that I could eat and most often it was fruits or veggies. I would miss out on that “hearty” part of a holiday meal. Is there a main dish recipe that you would recommend for the upcoming holidays? 

Eat Figs Not Pigs : Yes! There are so many, actually! Tofurky, Gardein, and Trader Joe’s all have a “Holiday Roast” that is actually pretty tasty! I usually ditch the gravy packets and make my own (recipe for my mushroom gravy is included with the Holiday Croquettes recipe). You can find these at many local grocery stores and at all Health food stores such as Whole Foods and Sprouts. If faux meats aren’t your thing, stuffed acorn squash is delicious and makes for a beautiful presentation! We actually have a recipe for that on our blog as well! Some other great mains for the Holidays are butternut squash risotto, which we’ll be sharing a recipe for very soon! We also love Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Brown Butter Sauce, Fettuccine with a Creamy Squash or Pumpkin Sauce, Lentil or Mushroom Loaf Wrapped in Puff Pastry with Savory Mushroom Gravy – www.hotforfood.com and www.itdoesnttastelikechicken.com have really tasty recipes for Puff Pastry Wrapped Loaves!

BestieTalks: What are your go-to favorite vegan sides for holiday dinners?

Eat Figs Not Pigs: 

  • Mac and Cheese – Mississippi Vegan (www.mississippivegan.com) has the FUCKING BEST recipe for mac and cheese I’ve ever had! HIGHLY RECOMMEND! Everyone will love this recipe, vegan or not! For some extra texture, I like to sprinkle the top with panko bread crumbs and melted butter and hit it under the broiler for a couple minutes.
  • Mashed Potatoes – Classic, versatile, minimal ingredients, EASILY veganizable, simple to make. You can’t go wrong with mashed potatoes!
  • Green Bean Casserole – The three years we’ve been vegan, we’ve also had the pleasure of hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our recipe for Green Bean Casserole is a HUGE hit among my meat-eating family. Such a hit, that they make my vegan version over the traditional version now. Ditch that canned mushroom soup and let me show you what REAL green bean casserole is supposed to taste like 🙂
  • Scalloped Potatoes – Another recipe we have on the blog, and it is very popular! Potatoes are a MUST during the holidays.
  • Roasted Veggies – With all the starchy foods during the holidays, it’s nice to have some good ol’ roasted veggies. I tend to go for root vegetables during the colder months, but choose whatever veggies you know and love! I like to season mine with a little brown sugar and ginger.

BestieTalks: If I needed a vegan dish last minute without a lot of time to cook or prepare- what would you recommend? A quick and easy recipe to put together or maybe even a store-bought item that could win over a crowd?

Eat Figs Not Pigs: 

Last minute – I recommend checking your local health food store’s “hot meal” or “ready meal” sections. During the Holiday months, Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Lassen’s tend to carry many vegan options such as  Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Pies, etc.

Quick & Easy – I really love Daiya boxed mac and cheese! You can find them at most health food stores. Each box feeds maybe 2 people, though…so you may need to buy a few if you’re attending a party with a lot of guests.

Quick & Easy – Mashed potatoes are always a go-to quick and easy dish! I like to add vegan butter, a little bit of non-dairy milk, vegan sour cream (Tofutti brand is my favorite and easily accessible), LOTS and LOTS  of fresh garlic, fresh chives, and some salt and pepper. Pro Tip – Purchase baby potatoes and quarter them for quicker cooking time!

Quick & Easy – PASTA! Noodles take only a few minutes to prepare and you can whip up a delicious and creamy sauce in the time the noodles are cooking if you’ve got a good blender! Blend up some cashews, non-dairy milk, canned pumpkin (the real kind, not the stiff for pumpkin pie), sage, garlic, vegan Parmesan, salt and pepper. Blend until creamy and smooth and voila! You’ve got a creamy, herb-y Pumpkin Alfredo sauce that will be sure to wow everyone!

Quick and Easy – Bruschetta! I love Bruschetta, as most people do! You can keep it classic or jazz it up with vegan cream cheese, cranberries or pomegranates, drizzled with some fresh sage and store-bought balsamic glaze.

BestieTalks: What tiny changes could be made to classic holiday dishes that could turn them into a new favorite vegan classic? Like green bean casserole, stuffing, gravy etc.

Eat Figs Not Pigs: So many EASY AF changes you can make to veganize almost any dish! If a recipe calls for butter, buy vegan butter such as Earth Balance or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Swap regular milk for non-dairy milk such as Almond, Soy, Hemp, Coconut, or Cashew. If a recipe calls for eggs as a binder, there are tons of egg replacements such as Bob’s Red Mill brand, Ener-G, Follow Your Heart, Flax eggs (tons of recipes online), or ground Chia seeds. There is even vegan half-and-half for creamier recipes! All these ingredients are pretty easy to find!

BestieTalks: Every party needs a fun drink! Do you have a favorite drink that you would recommend for a holiday gathering?

Eat Figs Not Pigs: Any drink that gets me drunk is a fun drink, in my opinion. Just kindding (kind of). On the real, though, I know people love egg nog (I personally hate it), so spiked egg nog is a go-to. Even my local grocery store has several brands of vegan egg nog, so it should be easily accessible in most cases! I also love anything cinnamon-y during the holidays, so a Fireball Sangria would be tasty and festive af. Bailey’s also has an Almond Milk Vegan version out now! I always love Bailey’s during the Holidays!

RECIPE #1 – GARLIC HERBED SCALLOPED POTATOES

INGREDIENTS:
1 large shallot, minced
1 tsp of each – sage, rosemary, thyme (preferably fresh, minced)
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup onion, chopped
2 cups non-dairy milk
3 TBS cornstarch
3 TBS vegan butter, such as Earth Balance
1 – 7 ounce package Follow Your Heart Smoked Gouda Slices, cut into cubes
5-6 red potatoes, sliced thinly
Salt and pepper to taste
Fresh chives, to garnish

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Arrange sliced potatoes in an oven safe dish or cast iron skillet, 
set aside.
3. In a saucepan, heat butter over low heat. Once butter begins to 
melt, slowly stir in cornstarch, fresh herbs, and salt and pepper 
until smooth.
4. Add onions, shallot, and garlic. Cook on low for another 2-3 minutes.
Slowly add non-dairy milk and bring to a boil. Stir constantly until 
the sauce has thickened, about 3-5 minutes.
5. Reduce heat to low and add in the cheese cube, stirring until they 
have formed a creamy “cheese” sauce.
6. Pour sauce over the sliced potatoes, cover and bake in preheated 
oven for 1 hour. Uncover and bake an additional 45 minutes (for extra 
crispiness and cheesy bubbliness, we broiled them the last five 
minutes).
7. Serve warm garnished with fresh chives.
ENJOY!!!

RECIPE #2 – VEGAN HOLIDAY CROQUETTES WITH MUSHROOM GRAVY

INGREDIENTS:

Mushroom Gravy:
8 oz button mushrooms, diced
4 TBS vegan butter
4 TBS all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups water
1 “Not Beef” bouillon cube

Croquettes:
Oil, for frying
3 Russet potatoes, peeled and cut into cubes
8 TBS vegan butter, divided
1 small carrot, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 small yellow onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups unsweetened original almond milk, divided
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 TBS of fresh rosemary, thyme and sage, minced and fresh if possible
8 oz Sweet Earth seitan strips, chopped
1/2 cup dried cranberries
2 vegan eggs, we use Ener-G Egg Replacer
2 cups panko bread crumbs, divided
Salt and pepper to taste

INSTRUCTIONS:

Mushroom Gravy:
1. In a small saucepan, melt butter on medium-low heat
2. Add mushrooms and saute until most of the moisture has cooked out, 
about 5-7 minutes
3. Add flour and bouillon cube, mixing to combine all the ingredients
Slowly add in water
4. Increase heat to high and whisk gravy until it boils lightly and 
becomes thicker in consistency
5. Cover and simmer on very low until ready to serve

Croquettes:
1. Prepare vegan eggs according to package directions
2. Fill a large pot with salted water and bring to a boil. Cook 
potatoes until they are very tender and easy to mash
3. While potatoes are boiling, melt 2 tablespoons of vegan butter in a 
large saucepan on medium heat. Saute carrots, onion, celery, and herbs 
until warmed through and fragrant, about 5-7 minutes. Add chopped 
seitan pieces and cook an additional 5-7 minutes. Set mixture aside.
4. When potatoes are done boiling, drain them and transfer to a large 
bow. Mash them with the remaining vegan butter and 1/2 cup unsweetened 
original almond milk. Mash the potatoes until they are free from 
clumps and creamy
5. Add seitan and herb mixture to the mashed potatoes, along with 
vegan eggs and 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs. Season with salt and pepper 
to taste, mixing to combine all the ingredients
6. Set up your dredging station. In one bowl, add the remaining bread 
crumbs. In another bowl, add the remaining almond milk. In a third 
bowl, add the flour
7. Form mashed potato mixture into balls (we used about 1 heaping 
tablespoon of mashed potato mixture to form a ball). Once the balls or 
“croquettes” are formed, roll them into the flour, then the milk, then 
the bread crumbs. Make sure for each part of the coating process, you 
coat each croquette thoroughly. If you want EXTRA crispy croquettes, 
you can repeat the process one more time.
8. Fry the croquettes in oil (350 degrees F) for about 5-7 minutes, or 
until golden brown and crispy
9. Serve hot with mushroom gravy
ENJOY!

 

Connect and Cook Some Recipes!

We hope you enjoyed this article as much as we enjoyed putting it together. We learned quite a few tips ourselves and we also plan on making these recipes too! Even if you are not vegan, we hope you are inspired to give something new a try this holiday season! Eat Figs Not Pigs has an amazing blog with countless mouthwatering recipes. They are not only amazing chefs but badass women that we are glad to call friends. Connect and follow them for more amazing vegan recipes!

Website: www.eatfigsnotpigs.com
Instagram : instagram.com/eat_figs_not_pigs
Facebook : Eat Figs Not Pigs
Email : Ashley@eatfigsnotpigs.com

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How to Effectively Run a Two-Person Blog

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How to Effectively Run a Two-Person Blog

Running a two-person blog can seem complicated. But, if you find the perfect person to pair up with, it can be a wonderful and exciting journey! There are lots of key components that need to be addressed when you’re running a blog with someone else. This article will outline the key steps and strategies to making a two-person blog run smoothly!

Pairing up With the Perfect Person

Starting a blog is a significant endeavor. Finding the perfect person to start a blog with is an entirely different endeavor. A successful duo blog is possible as long as you make sure the person you work with is just as committed as you are.

The three most important aspects to consider when choosing a blog partner are:

  • Similar interests
  • Excellent communication
  • Someone you get along with

We have been best friends for almost 15 years and are as close as sisters. We have lived in different states for over 12 years, but thanks to great communication and regular vacations together, we never skip a beat. Our blog journey has been an exciting learning experience and has brought us even closer. Now we’re here to share how we make our blog work, and why starting a duo blog is not as tricky as you might think!

Communication is Key!

Good communication is crucial to run a successful blog efficiently.  To make sure you know who is responsible for what and when, you need to discuss planning, organization and blog tasks. We communicate via phone call or text multiple times a day, so we are always on the same page.

Important things that need to be discussed to keep our blog on track include:

  • Article topics  
  • When you will do a solo posts vs. joint posts
  • Posting schedule  
  • Social media metrics and performance
  • Advising one another before a post is made
  • Who is responsible for maintaining specific social media platforms
  • New group boards you join on Pinterest or other social media sites
  • Potential guest posters/contributors
  • Feedback on each other’s posts before publishing
  • New ideas or things you want to change
  • Any blog-related expenses

You need to be able to communicate honestly with one another. Without trust and openness, it will be hard to be successful. If you don’t like an article topic, you need to let your partner know and be able to take constructive criticism. You are a team and you will either win or lose together.

We meet for drinks in San Francisco!

Sharing Accounts and Profiles 

Building and designing your blog is just the beginning. To promote your blog, you’ll also need to use numerous apps, websites and social media platforms. When you are part of a two-person blog team, that means you will have joint accounts. Be prepared to create shared usernames and passwords across all the essential platforms.  Our shared accounts and profiles include:

  1. WordPress
  2. Tailwind
  3. Siteground
  4. Facebook
  5. Gmail
  6. Pinterest
  7. Instagram
  8. Twitter
  9. Canva
  10. Studiopress 
  11. MailChimp

It’s smart to use the same password and joint email across all shared accounts related to your blog. From day one, we split all costs associated with our blog 50/50. We send and request money for  monthly subscriptions (like Tailwind) through Venmo, so we keep a documented transaction history. Being in a blog partnership is similar to a marriage. You share EVERYTHING!

Mutual Approval on Everything 

Before anything is posted, it’s important to get approval from your blog partner. This strategy has worked wonderfully for us, and we highly recommend it. We split up who manages specific social media platforms, but both still weigh in on what’s posted. For example, Jessica handles Instagram and Pinterest, and Raynita handles Facebook and Twitter. Before we post on any social media, we let each other know what we are posting. It’s only fair that your partner likes the picture, article, etc. that will be posted. Your blog represents both of you, so it’s important to always include each other.

Having your own identity in a two-person blog is also important. We recommend a mixture of solo posts and joint posts to keep the balance. If there are only articles by one author, your blog won’t be seen as a collective. It’s vital that your partner has their own identity, and that together you make up what you blog is supposed to be. Proofreading each other’s articles and weighing in on their writing and pictures used allows you to have an opinion about your work before it is shared with the world. Use one another to make your blog the absolute best that it can be

Be Better Together

We meet and drag our husbands along (who love each other dearly) for all of our shenanigans.

We live in different states so getting together is not that easy. If you are thinking of starting a blog with someone, you will have to make time for one another. Meeting up in person to work on our blog, take pictures and going on vacations (when we can) all help make our blog successful. Getting together in person to work on your blog, taking pictures together, and going on vacations are all required. We get together several times a year, and now with our blog, our vacations have become blog adventure opportunities. The person you are sharing a blog with should also be someone you enjoy sharing life with. You want someone who makes you better and vice-versa.

Making the decision to start a blog with someone else is an exciting step. Click here to read a similar story about starting a two-person blog that might bring you some more inspiration! We hope that you have found this information useful. Starting a joint blog was one of the easiest and best decisions of our lives. We could each have started a blog alone, but the we wouldn’t have someone to share all our achievements with. A two-person blog might be tough, but it is beyond rewarding, and that outranks everything else!

Connect With Us!

We invite you to connect with us on any and all social platforms. Ask us questions, inquire about guest posting or just come along for the journey! The more the merrier!

www.facebook.com/bestietalks

www.instagram.com/bestietalks

www.twitter.com/bestietalksblog

www.pinterest.com/bestietalks

www.bestietalks.com

bestietalks@gmail.com

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5 Reasons You Should Jump Rope

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Jump Rope

A jump rope is handy for so many things, but using it for fitness still remains #1. Jump ropes can be cheap, portable and will help you burn a shit-ton of calories. It can be used by the whole family and it is so versatile that it will never get boring. Jumping rope workouts your upper and lower body while burning calories at an extremely fast rate. Here are a few reasons and ways to use a jump rope…

1. Burn calories in a short amount of time.

It is proven that jumping rope is one of the fastest ways to burn calories. Very few exercises burn calories as fast as jump roping does. Jumping at a moderate rate can burn about 10 to 16 calories a minute and can raise your heart rate 2 to 3 times faster than other exercises. Aerobic Test found that 10 minutes of jumping equals a 30-minute run. 10 minutes of jump rope and you just worked off that candy bar.

2. Jump for a healthy heart and brain

Healthy Kids has teamed up with parents, children, and teachers in a campaign, “Jump Rope for Heart”, to teach children about their heart, learn jump rope skills, and the importance of having a healthy heart. Jumping rope has cardiovascular benefits and we all know having a healthy heart is vital for living a healthy life. Teaching Students the benefits of a healthy heart may protect them from the #1 killer, heart disease.

Performing two activities with both physical and mental demands have higher impacts on cognitive function than doing a stationary exercise like being on the treadmill or stationary bike. The best workouts for your brain and body involve coordination, rhythm, and strategy; which is exactly what jump rope brings.

3. Convenience

You can literally throw a jump rope in your purse, briefcase, lunch bag, or keep it in your trunk. A jump rope takes up close to no room and weighs about a pound, and is extremely portable. If you have a trip out of town, throw it into your luggage and your workout will never be too far. If you’re more forgetful, keep one at your desk and break it out during your lunch break. Jump rope can be done just about anywhere!

4. Core Strength

Jump roping is a great core workout. Balancing and engaging your whole core while jump roping makes this convenient workout a total body workout. When you think of jump roping you might not associate it with a tough or rigorous workout but it is! They are also weighted ropes if you want to take your jump roping up a notch. Jump roping can bring definition to your core and help with slimming down your mid section while also working out your legs, arms and butt. Jump roping will get you’re ass into shape!

5) Improve Agility, Mobility and Speed

Jump roping is a great way to improve your agility, mobility and overall speed. You have to have quick and agile feet to be able to jump rope for a long period of time. Jump roping builds up your calf and leg muscles which improves your mobility and speed. When we first started jump roping, neither of us could go for that long. After awhile our endurance built up and now we can go for quite a long time. Time yourself and jump in intervals to start. Start with 30 seconds jumping followed by 15 seconds rest then slowly build up your intervals. You will be so surprised when you reach your first 2 minute mark! Then five minutes then TEN!  YOU GOT THIS! 🙂 

Have we motivated you to buy a jump rope?  We hope so! make sure you find one that is long enough for you height. You don’t want to buy a rope that is too short! If you already a jump roper do you agree with the benefits we listed?! Please let us know how you feel about jump roping!

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10 Fall Favorites

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Fall Makes us Happy

Every year the leaves change, the temps cool down and we are reminded how happy Fall makes us. There is a sense of comfort that Fall brings. The changing of seasons also brings changes in our lives and it is something we can count on happening year after year. Cooler temps, sweaters, pumpkins and being able to cozy up near a fireplace are all things that put a big ass smile on our faces. We are so excited now that Fall is upon us that we had to make a list of our of 10 top Fall favorites! 

10 Things we Love About Fall

1) Wardrobe: Boots, scarfs, layers, oh my! What is there not to love about a Fall season wardrobe. Booties, tights with leg warmers, puffy vest, long socks, cute jackets …I can go on and on. I love a dark look so Fall is my favorite time to pull out all my dark clothing and even go a few shades lighter with make up. It’s the perfect time for neutrals, earth tones and dark clothing. Nothing like a dark sexy lip to go with a dark sexy outfit!

2) Decorating: Whether it’s pumpkins and haystacks or turkeys and Pilgrims, we love to decorate for fall! Decorating for Halloween starts off the Fall season for me. I love everything about decorating for Halloween and scaring my husband every chance I get! And if Halloween isn’t celebrated in your home, there are still so many other cute trendy decorations you can use too.

3) Football: We both love football and even have had our own football fantasy league for many years now. Football reminds of us food, friends, family, and fun! we are both really competitive so we love a little banter and teasing when it comes to football season. Chillin’ on a Sunday in a clean house with Fall scented candles burning…whats not to love?!

4) Food & Drinks: Cooler weather means more savory and belly warming foods. We both love cooking and eating and during the Fall we get to bust out some of our classic favorites and try new yummy recipes as well. Holiday parties and dinners also bring about yummy food that most people don’t cook year round. This is when the crockpots get dusted off and used weekly. Drinks too. Hot cocoa, hot tea spiked with some alcohol etc.

5) Get Together’s: People start getting together for football, holiday parties and gatherings etc. This time of year has a way of bringing people together. Whether it’s small or big, indoor or outdoors, try to make time to get with those your thankful for in this perfect season!

6) Weather:Don’t get us wrong. We absolutely love the beach, pool days and our Summer vacations BUT there’s something cozy about fall weather. Rainy days just stuck in the house can be so relaxing. There is a such thing as too cold but this is a Fall discussion not Winter lol. I don’t love the cold but I do love the spot right between hot and cold.. which brings us to Fall. Fall weather fucking rocks.

7) Fall Scents: Candles are our life year around. But, in the Fall scents like pumpkin, cinnamon, apple, pecan pie take over our homes and we love every minute of it! Incense fall into this category as well. There’s a scent called ‘baking brownies’ and those incense mixed with a pecan pie scented candle will change your life. I’m going to light that combo right now. Seriously, like right now. BRB.

8) TV Lineup: Fall is the time when season premieres of all your favorite shows begin. Survivor launches up for a new season and local tv breaks out with new shows or new seasons of all their top hits. Ray Donovan, Shameless, American Horror Story..the list goes on! This makes it really easy to grab a blanket and cozy up on the couch and watch a great show.

9) Holidays: Fall is the introduction to Holiday season. As a teacher, this means 3 day weekends and paid holiday time. Use this time to get with those who you are thankful for. It’s time for those weekend trips and celebrations with those you love. Holiday season is officially here! 

10) The Colors: Fall is naturally beautiful. The leaves change colors, the days get a littler darker and all around our world goes through a drastic and beautiful change. The end of bright Summer days brings a calm and serene vibration and it’s something we never take for granted. The darker and natural hues that you find in nature reminds us that everything goes through cycles. We change with the seasons as they change and we are here with open arms to embrace Fall!

Do you love this time of year as much as we do? If so, What do YOU love about Fall?! 

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Forgiving Those That Have Hurt You

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Easier Said Than Done

Forgiving those that have hurt you is easier said than done. A lot of the time we hold grudges, anger or sadness. We think it is easier not to forgive them, but it’s also a burden we carry on ourselves. We hurt ourselves by bearing those grudges. Some people apologize and others who don’t. It’s the apologies we don’t get that are harder to forgive. Over the years, we have endured pain from a wide array of people. Some have been easier to forgive and others we have struggled with. We have gotten to a point in our lives where we might forgive some people, but it doesn’t mean we need to let them back into our lives. Having boundaries for yourself is crucial. People are always going to hurt you, but it’s up to you if you let it continue. 

Words Hurt

The thing about words is once they’re said, there is no taking them back. The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is completely bogus! Words can hurt the most. What someone says in the heat of an argument can resonate with that other person, and they may become oblivious to anything else said during the argument. Those words will stick to them, and anything else you say won’t matter. When someone says something so hurtful to you, it is easy to think that they have always thought this about you. Then you start questioning yourself saying ” did they always feel that way about me? Have they been saying this behind my back?”. And those are all logical thoughts. But when the time comes for forgiveness, don’t hesitate to ask those questions that you were pondering about, because in most cases (not all) that person said that to be a dick and hurt you exactly where they knew they could. 

Arguing Through A Screen

With our electronic world, arguments happen over text, social media and even through email. This is a problem in itself. Words and emotions can get misconstrued, and one may take the message a completely different way than intended. If the messages continue, it usually only gets worse. Now, you’re pissed and have the messages there in front of you for you to reread and analyze which only brings up that same emotion or even worse. Arguing through text is so dumb. If you care about the person, take the time to give them a call and calmly express your feelings. This shows your seriousness in the matter. Nothing ever good comes from arguing through text. If you have something to say to someone, have the audacity to pick up the phone and tell them personally. Hiding behind a screen does nothing but make matters worse.  

Forgiving Their Actions

Forgiving someone because of what they did, can be extremely tough. When a person cheats on you, steals from you, or physically hurts you, trust is now gone, and any forgiveness is gonna take much more time. When an action is done against you, it is understandable to feel betrayed. It takes more thought and effort for someone to do something that they know will hurt you physically. Most of us have felt this kind of pain, and it is tough to get over it. Usually, when you forgive this type of person, you are much more hesitant about how close you let them in again. It’s perfectly understandable to put your guard up even if you have forgiven them. Earning back trust after it has been broken is a steep road. If they repeatably break your trust, it is time to remove that person from your life completely.

Talking it Out

Most of the time it’s best to let the dust settle before making time to talk out issues with the other person. A clear head and calm emotions are imperative for a productive conversation to happen. Hearing out what the other person has to say is important. Are they sincere? Is their apology believable? Do they take fault when needed? Being honest with them about how they hurt you is as equally important so they can understand how their actions and words affected you. Talking it out and finding common ground can most of the time mend a relationship. A lot of things are forgivable, and people do have bad days, and sometimes you are the one they take it out on. This doesn’t justify what they might have done or said but bad days are a part of life. If you care about that person then being willing to talk it out is a good step in forgiving them. 

Forgive But Don’t Forget

Forgiving is the right thing to do, but you don’t have to forget. Now you know what that person is capable of doing. However, there is never a need to throw that back into their face. If you truly forgive someone, then you can’t bring up the past down the road. Throwing something someone did in their face after you said that you accept their apology is a shitty thing to do. Either forgive them or don’t but it can’t be both. If that person hurts you again, then you can at least say that you tried, but your happiness matters. Anyone who doesn’t contribute to your happiness really isn’t worth being in your daily life. Only you can protect yourself from other people. What you allow will continue.

Can you relate? Have you ever had issues forgiving someone that hurt you?

 

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