BestieTalks

BestieTalks

Bitchin' Aint Easy but Somebody's Gotta do it!

5 Signs That you Need to cut Someone out of Your Life

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Knowing Who is Toxic in Your Life

It can be hard to spot who is toxic in your life. The truth is though that sometimes we allow people to stay in our lives longer than they should. Not all friendships and relationships continue as they started. People change and sometimes for the worse. Just because you have known someone for a long time doesn’t mean they have a right to treat you like shit or make you feel miserable. You might not realize how much power you have when it comes to controlling your happiness. Start by evaluating the people in your life and really take the time to see who adds value and who might need to be cut from your life.

5 Signs to Notice

  1. They don’t make you happy. If there is someone in your life who doesn’t make you happy then you need to ask yourself why they are still in your life. Someone who constantly brings negativity, drama or sadness to your days is someone you need to cut out from your life. I know this could be a family member, a friend, or even a significant other but the reality is that you deserve to be happy regardless of that person’s title in your life. Take control of your happiness, it is YOURS after all.
  2. They don’t believe in you or support your goals. This is something that can be hard to spot and come to terms with. We automatically think that all of our friends and loved ones are going to believe in us and support everything we do but this is not the case. If there is something in your life that you’re passionate about and there is someone in your life who doesn’t appreciate that passion, then they don’t deserve to experience your success and achievements with you. Surround yourself with people who support you and want the best for you and SHOW it.
  3. They don’t make time for you. Life is busy and we all have our own things going on but making time for those that are important to us is crucial for any and all relationships and friendships to survive. We all pick and choose how we spend our time and who we make an effort to stay in touch with not only matters but shows. One-sided relationships don’t last very long. If there is someone who you make an effort to talk or see and they do not reciporate your efforts, then it might be time to stop trying so much. We all have our phones nearby and a simple call or text is really not that hard. If someone blows you off multiple times then maybe it’s time to stop giving your time to them and give it to someone you does make time for you. Did someone come to mind when you read this? Then you know what you need to do.
  4. They act like they are better than you. A friend shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself. If you don’t possess the things they posses and they make you feel lesser because of that then you need to serioulsy consider how much time you spend with this person. Why spend your time with someone you constantly throws everything they have in your face? How in the hell can that even be fun? Someone you talks down to you falls into this same cateogory. You don’t need that shit and I promise you that you will feel better after you do something about it. No one has the right to make you feel shitty about yourself. People who think they are always right, always “know’s whats best” or feel entitled to tell you about YOUR life  are people you should really cut out from your life. There are enough pressures form society about what you should have and look like. You don’t need additional stressors coming from your inner circle. 
  5. They are constantly negative.  There will be days where your friend or loved one will call you to bitch about their bad day and thats perfectly okay. We all have bad days. There are people who have bad days then people who act like they have a bad life. Every single day they are negative and every single day there is something wrong. People who are fueld by negativity and constantly bring it around you will start to have a negative impact on your life even if you dont’ notice it right away. Constant negativity and complaining it hard to endure. who wants to constatnly be surrounded by someone who can’t find happiness and simple joy? Again, life is too short. Not only is life too short but who we keep around us impacts our personalities, lives, and ways of thinking. You should try to surround yourself with like-minded people. People who are constantly negative will drag you down with them. Take notice and do something about it now. You will be thankful once that negativity is removed and notice how much weight is lifted.  

Can you Relate?

Did any of these hit home with you? Maybe someone or multiple people popped into your head as you read through this? Let us know if you have experienced this before and what finally happened for you to accept that you needed to cut someone out of your life? Never forget that your life and your happiness matters. Surround yourself with people you make you happy, make you a better person, and make you feel loved. At minimum, we all deserve those things!

Thank you for reading!

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Blocking Your Blessings

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Blocking Your Blessings

We are here to talk about blocking your blessings! So many people are blocking their blessings and they don’t even realize it. From bad friendships and draining relationships, to limiting themselves by not trying new things. When opportunities to better yourself or your life arise and you don’t take them, you are blocking your blessings! Are you spending your energy on the wrong things and people? Should you be focusing more on yourself instead of trying to keep up with others?

We made a video sharing our thoughts on blocking your blessings! See if you can relate and please tell us your thoughts on this topic! We love to hear other peoples opinions!

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Women Empowerment

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Women Hating on Women

If you’re a woman reading this, then the chances are high that you have experienced hate from another woman. The chances are that at some point in your life you have talked shit about other women as well. It’s something we are all guilty of. If you’re saying you have NEVER done this, then you are either a saint or a liar. Why do we do this? Why do we think it’s so wrong for men to call us bitches and judge us strictly off of our appearance when we do it as well? Instead, we promote bashing one another when we should be our strongest allies.

How Can She Be a Bitch if You Don’t Even Know Her?

I can’t tell you how many times that another girl has told me, ” I thought you were a bitch before I got to know you.” Should I take this as a compliment or does it really say more about that person? We are so quick to judge each other that we make our assumptions before really even knowing someone. There’s this underlying competitive nature amongst us that leads us to bash each other when we should be lifting each other up. As women, we deal with a lot of inequalities, and these inequalities lead us to promote a tough exterior. A woman who appears confident is not a stuck up bitch. Shes just confident and she should be. Who are you to judge to her because of the way she carries herself?

There’s a difference between being confident and thinking you are too good for people. There are women who fall into each category. Just like there are men who respect women and those that don’t. Some women are just plain nasty, but I’m talking about the women who are hated on without good cause. I’m sure you have been somewhere, and you can feel another woman judging you based on what you are wearing or what you look like. You might even notice when you get dirty looks. It’s so common that we have become closed off to other women simply because of premature opinions about one another.

I Don’t “Like” Her

This hate is also very much alive in the social media world. Have you ever posted a picture when you are happy and feeling beautiful only to find that some of your “friends” don’t even acknowledge it? Knowing damn well they saw it. I’m sure there are multiple women on your social media that don’t interact with you at all. You notice this and think why the fuck are we even friends? You mean to tell me that in the past year you have not “liked” one single thing that I have done, said or shared? Do you just want to be nosy on my page, is that it? I’m quick to hit the “unfriend” button to women like this. If you don’t give a shit about whats going on in my life then really there’s no point of you seeing it. If you haven’t noticed this chances are you will now. Women do the same shit in person that they do online.

Giving Compliments

I don’t know about you, but when a woman compliments me, it makes me happy. It resonates with me, and I genuinely appreciate it. It comes across so much different then it would from a man. Do I appreciate it more because it is so rare? If a woman is wearing a cute dress, I have no problem telling her. If I like her nails or hair, I’m going to let her know. Why? Because compliments are fucking awesome and we don’t give them out enough. We instead come across as a bad bitch who doesn’t need compliments from other women when in reality we would appreciate them.

Less Hate, More Love

So, the next time you admire a lady, let her know. Be that positive, caring lady that we all need sometimes. Nothing is more empowering than hearing something sweet from a peer. As women, we have so many things in life that are set up to be harder for us. We get paid less than our male colleagues, women make up 1/5 of Congress, we pay more for our female products, and were constant victims of domestic violence. Why would you wanna add to the list by being a hater too? We already have to put up with so much. Next time you think of hating on a lady, think about all the mistreatment she already endures and be that positive light instead. Be a woman lover instead of a lady hater.  And if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

Women supporting women is exactly what we need!

Can you relate to this subject? What are YOUR thoughts on women empowerment?!

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Don’t Steal My Time

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Time is Given Not Taken

Somebody’s time is something that you don’t play around with. Because time is one of the few things that we can’t get back. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who steal your time, and you might not even realize it. When someone gives you their time to do something, it should be appreciated. No matter how small or enormous that frame of time might be. I feel that our society, in general, tends to not value and respect other peoples time. Why are we like this? So entitled, unappreciative and selfish with how we treat other people. Nobody owes you A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. 

Shift in Importance

As I have gotten older, I have become much more selective with how I spend my time. My outlook on what/who I consider to be important has shifted. Time is valuable to me and when at all possible I choose to spend it doing something I enjoy and with people that I enjoy being with. Of course, some moments in life are going to be shitty, and there’s nothing you can do about it. However, I’m talking more about the time we choose to give away to others willingly. It’s pretty horrifying to think about all the time I have spent on people who didn’t appreciate it. 

Friends

Having moved quite a few times in my life, I have friends scattered in different states. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time trying to keep up a lot of friendships that ended up deteriorating regardless of effort. I got to a point in my life when I stopped trying so hard, and it was freeing as fuck! Friendships that are worth my time are the ones that don’t take a lot of effort. I’m too grown and have too many adult responsibilities to constantly be worried if someone is “mad” at me because I haven’t called them in the past week. When we link up, and we can pick up right where we left off that’s how you know it’s an easy friendship. In my opinion, understanding and respecting each other’s lives and time is the type of friendship worth having. 

Communication does go both ways so if you give more effort than someone else, stop. If you are the one who constantly reaches out or tries to make plans and the person on the other end doesn’t spend any of their time reciprocating that’s a bad sign. Stop spending your time on people who dont appreciate you. Don’t go across the ocean for someone who wouldn’t even cross the street for you. 

“Me Time”

It’s also possible to steal time from yourself. Let’s say there is a concert that you want to go to but no one can commit to going. Are you really not going to go because you will be alone? Buy those tickets and go to that concert! Go and have a damn good time by yourself and hell, you might even make some new friends there! Spending your time trying to get someone else to spend it with you is stealing from yourself. Don’t hold yourself back from doing things you want just because no one else will do it with you. This is your life, and you get the chance to spend your time how you want. Don’t have regrets and let time go by because your hung up on someone else. Do what makes you happy even if you have to do it all by your damn self! 

Family

Family should always be a priority. The people in your home are a part of your life that is separate from anyone else. Spending time with them should be important but so should be respecting their time. We are all individuals and have our own lives but we choose to live and spend them with other people. This doesn’t mean that the people you live with have to give you all of their time either. Respect their individuality and the things they choose to do with their time. Support them by spending your time doing something that’s important to them and vice versa. Anyone outside of your home who doesn’t get why you don’t have time for them- needs to check themselves. Again, you have your own life and family to worry about and you shouldn’t be worried about other people who are consumed by petty shit. If you’re busy you’re busy. Plain and simple.  

Work

Work is a little more complicated. Most of the world has to work to survive. A lot of the time you can feel like your time isn’t valued at work and that fucking sucks. But you have bills to pay, so you have to do what needs be done to make shit happen. I get it. If you’re truly miserable at work and feel like your time could be better spent then start looking for alternatives. You might not find a way out immediately, but without effort, nothing can change. If there is a particular person, who doesn’t value your time then see if you can address that situation. If you are continually picking up shifts for other people or handling extra work on top of your own, then figure out how you can change that. Your time is valuable even in the workplace. Be aware of who steals your time and doesn’t appreciate your extra efforts. Don’t let people walk all over you. It’s perfectly okay to say no or to ask for help. Be kind to yourself and learn when to do so to protect yourself and your time.

Finding Balance

Finding balance in your life where your time is equally spent and spread is the goal. It might sound impossible, but once you start paying closer attention to who is stealing your time, it might seem easier than you think. Time is irreplaceable, so it’s completely okay to be as picky with it as you want. Quite honestly, anyone who tries to make you feel bad or guilty about how you spend your time is someone who doesn’t deserve any of your time, to begin with. Life is too short to feel guilty for living your life doing what makes YOU happy. Anyone who can’t learn to be happy for you or be happy with you is someone who is going to drag you down. Be picky with your time and protect the shit out of it. Starting today, don’t let anyone, including yourself, steal any more of YOUR precious time.

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Being a Woman in a Superficial Society

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Unrealistic Beauty Standards

The size of your waist or the color of your lipstick doesn’t define who you are as a woman

I love being a woman, but it takes a lot of work. Starting at a very young age, there are a lot of pressures that we deal with. From how much the scale says we weigh, to the color of our hair there is a lot of shit that we deal with. Beauty standards for women have always been high. But in our current society, it seems like they are higher than ever. From Photoshop, Instagram filters and people glorifying “perfect” celebrity selfies it’s no wonder that women nowadays feel like they are chasing an appearance that is ultimately unattainable. The things women do on a daily basis to uphold their appearance have become the norm in our society. But the truth is that we are harder on ourselves then we need to be.

Pluck, Shave & Wax

With Summer right around the corner and all of us preparing to display our bodies in teeny tiny bikini’s it made us realize how much we do to ourselves to maintain our image. Some of us dread bikini season, and some of us love it. If you dread it, is it because society says you aren’t “perfect”? We are guilty of this ourselves and are not in any way saying that it is a bad thing to groom yourself and care about your image. It’s the fact that these appearance standards are EXPECTED in our society, and it’s annoying as fuck. 

Why are women expected to wax or shave all of the hair off of their bodies? God forbid we go a day too long without shaving our pits. Our eyebrows need to be perfect and the longer and fuller the lashes the better. What if we don’t’ have full and long eyelashes? Yep, damn right we are having them put on so we can achieve those lust-worthy butterfly eyes. 

Don’t do it For Anyone but Yourself

Yes, getting our nails and hair done is part of our routine. We also love being active and love our workouts. We enjoy being fit and healthy and are not doing it to try to keep up with anyone or with what society says the size of our clothes should be. It makes us happy so we continue to do these things. Will we ever look the Kardashians or any other celebrity that has a beauty team on call 24/7? No, and that’s perfectly fine with us. 

There is nothing wrong with being an ordinary woman and living an ordinary life. Why does it seem like our society is obsessed with all of us looking a certain way? Will loving and accepting our bodies for what they are ever become a trend? Magazines, television, Instagram, and the Internet, in general, are constantly telling us what we “should” look like. What we SHOULD do is love ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to other women.

You Can’t Filter Reality

Filters are cool and fun for sprucing up photos, but you can’t filter yourself in the physical form. Cellulite, stretch marks, scars, and any other body appearance that society considers an “imperfection” is a reality. It’s okay to have these things and its okay if you dont want to shave your legs every fucking day. Let’s be real; there is nothing normal about pulling every single hair out of your vagina with wax. So if you want to let that shit grow from time to time, do it! 

We know it’s hard not to feel like you need to upkeep certain things about your appearance but you’re beautiful whether you do these things or not. If you are wearing leggings or dressed to the nines, you should always look in the mirror with the same appreciation for yourself. Don’t let society, other women, or men tell you that you need to change anything about yourself. If getting your boobs done or having botox injections will make you happy, then get that shit! You can do whatever you want with your body. Therefore, other peoples opinions shouldn’t matter. 

You ARE Beautiful

Just remember, beauty starts from the inside. As Kanye West says “the prettiest people do the ugliest things”, which makes them an ugly person. It doesn’t matter what size jeans you wear, how much you pay to get your hair done, or the number on the scale, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Beauty is defined by the eye of the beholder but you can always have the upper hand by having a positive attitude and that energy within will be portrayed as beauty for others to see. Do what makes you feel good! 

P.S. Cut anyone out of your life who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. And dont let the pressures of society get you down. You don’t have to compete with anyone or live up to any unattainable standards. It’s about who you are underneath the makeup and clothes!

Can you relate to the pressures of society? Bitch it out with us!

 

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Since When Are Earbuds an Accessory?

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Earbuds Are Everywhere!!!

Everywhere you go, you see someone with earbuds in their ears. At the store, the bank, school, and airports. Earbuds are everywhere!!! Most of the time, they’re either staring into their phone scrolling nonchalantly, listening to music with those “don’t bother me eyes”, or using them as a deterrent to socialize. Either way, earbuds annoy me!

Daily, I am asking my students to take out their earbuds while in the classroom. I catch myself talking to people who are on the phone using theirs and not talking to me at all. It happens constantly to me. I think they’re asking me a question and I began to answer it, only to be interrupted by a weird look and a finger point to the earbuds. I just find earbuds super unsocial. When I go to school campuses, most students have earbuds in. Some are still talking to others but then why have them in?

Why Do They Wear Them?

So, I asked my students who wear them constantly, “why do you always have your earbuds in?”.  Some said they’re listening to music. And yes, this is true but don’t you think it’s a good idea to take them out once your in a social setting?  Others say that they forget they have them on. Really? You forget you have this foreign object in your ear, that is connected by a cord, that’s connected to the phone in your pocket? That’s hard for me to believe. Wearing them seems like the “cool” thing to do if you ask me.

People will talk to me while they have their buds in and after I respond, they reply with a “what”, “huh”. TAKE OUT YOUR DAMN EARBUDS AND MAYBE YOU’LL HEAR ME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! It is so frustrating. There are a time and place for everything and that includes wearing your earbuds too.

Where You Should and Shouldn’t Wear Earbuds

Yes, of course, it is okay to wear them at certain times. The difference is knowing when the time is appropriate, compared to when it can be taken rudely. Of course, there are places where they are completely okay. At the gym, bus stop, on public transportation, or anywhere where were it is safe to not hear your surroundings. Because, let’s be honest, not being able to hear your surroundings can be super dangerous. Now, for places where it is NOT okay to wear earbuds… Church (don’t even get me started on Snapchatting at Chruch), the classroom because it is super disrespectful unless it’s with the teachers’ permission, a bank because everything that goes on there should be confidential and private. I never understand how anyone would think it is okay to have earbuds on while at dinner with anyone. Earbuds can also be a safety issue so doing such things as driving and walking your dog should be done without them as well.

I understand the convenience but we don’t need that over socialization. Yes, having music or entertainment at your fingertips to past the time is understandable, but just like everything else, there is a time and place for that too. I would take a conversation any day, over standing next to someone awkwardly wondering if they have any idea that I am there.  I believe if we took the time out to get to know the people around us, this world would be a better place.

 

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