BestieTalks

BestieTalks

Relationships Can be Beautiful or They Can be Messy but Either Way, You Learn From Them!

What to Expect During Your First Year of Blogging

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Happy 1 Year to BestieTalks!

We are so excited to share with you what we have learned during our first year of blogging. Running a two-person blog has its ups and downs, but honestly, it’s been a fucking blast! We’ve learned so much about ourselves, each other, got our first troll, have been able to travel for our blog and met some amazing people all in one short year. It has been a fantastic learning journey and we wanna share some of what we learned with you!

What to Expect 

So you’ve launched your blog and now what? PROMOTE!!! No one will know anything about your blog unless you put it in their faces. Here is what you need in order to get it everywhere:

  • Instagram– Make an account dedicated only to your blog. Start following big bloggers that inspire you and are in the same niche as your blog. Educate yourself on how Instagram works and how to get the most out of it. Engagement with your audience is a must! Learn everything you can about hashtags. 
  • Twitter– Twitter is great for quick thoughts and gives you the ability to throw things out there while personally engaging with others through Tweets. Engage with other bloggers and remember to give back. Twitter is an AMAZING platform for bloggers but if you are a blogger that only promotes your own work and never returns the favors to others- expect to be called out. Blogging is not a place for the selfish. There is enough room for all of us to succeed!
  • Facebook– Just about everyone and they mama, grandma, and auntie has a Facebook so it is only smart to make a page for your blog and invite EVERYONE you know to like the page. That way when you post on there, it will come on everyone’s feed. Join FB blogging groups too. They always have great tips and are a good place to vent, ask for advice and meet other bloggers. 
  • Pinterest– Pins drive people to your blog. Of course, you will have to learn how to make pins but it’s simple. Once you master that, make a pin for every article you publish and stay actively pushing your pins and posting others too.  

Try to make sure all your accounts are universal in the name. Sometimes your name is already taken ( happened to us with Twitter) and if that’s the case, add something simple to it that still applies to your blog ( like BestieTalksBlog). This allows it to be easier for your blog to be found on any network.

What to Expect And How to React

You can’t prepare for everything, so be ready to roll with the punches when they come. Not everyone is going to like or understand what you’re doing and that’s fine. But sometimes people can be little bitches and they like to troll your page venting their negative unwanted opinion and that’s OKAY too. We understand that not everyone will love us and you have to be okay with that and accept it. Remind yourself why you started blogging and as long as it makes YOU happy that’s all that really matters. You will have moments when you question your work and if you are making any progress. Remember, success doesn’t come overnight and if you are getting into blogging with the idea of getting rich or famous then maybe you should re-evaluate your reasons for wanting to be a blogger. Find your passion and keep that passion while navigating through your first year.

Be prepared for some “friends” and family to not support you like you thought they would!

 

Finding Balance

We both have full time careers so blogging is something we do in our spare time. If you are like us and have other responsibilities, then you will need to find a balance between your professional work and blogging. It’s okay to not be active every single day. Honestly, we believe that disconnecting is healthy and we do it often. Finding balance is key for blogging to not only work but for you to stay happy and positive about it. If you feel like taking the day to do other things besides writing, promoting on social media or making new pins for Pinterest.. THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY! Don’t stress yourself out feeling like you have to get an article out every damn day. Find what works for YOU. Sometimes we put out two articles a week and other times we put out just one. We find what works for us and we roll with it!

Connect With Other Bloggers

One thing we read about when we first launched BestieTalks was interacting with other bloggers. We thought, ” how the hell are we supposed to do that?” Trust us, we get how overwhelming all of this may seem in the beginning but you will get a hold of it and figure things out! Reach out to other bloggers, comment on their articles and build a rapport with them. Find other bloggers in your niche who you have things in common with. We have done a handful of guest blog articles with other bloggers and it is a great experience! We highly recommend you do this! Connecting with other bloggers helps you both grow and reach more people and it’s also quite fun to engage and work with other bloggers! Pepare yourself for other bloggers turning you down. You won’t be compataibe with everyone. This goes back to what we talked about earlier.. not everyone is gonna like you and acceting that now will make things easier down the road. The blogging community is one of the most supportive groups we have ever encountered. You might feel shy or timid when first starting out- but we all were. You got this! 

Stay True, Real and Honest

The most important part of being a blogger is staying true, honest and real! Whatever you blog about should be a passion for you. Staying true to your identity and what you believe in will make you more connected to what you are writing about. The goal is not to appeal to every single person out there but the people that do connect with you will come. Just stay persistent and patient and enjoy the journey of watching your blog evolve. You might feel that your blog is not reaching anyone but if you stay consistent it will get noticied. It takes a lot of work to be a proficent blogger and thankfully I have my bestie to help with all the things we have to do. I could only imagine all the extra work that a solo blogger has to do but be proud of yourself! Be proud of your little accomplishments and the big ones! It takes a lot of confidence to put your thoughts out into a world that is filled with judgment. You are a badass and don’t you ever forget it!

Thank you for reading and celebrating our one year of blogging with us! Please let us know of any tips you have that could be useful to others!

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Everything You Need to Know About a Blogger’s Conference

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Would You Ever Attend a Blogger Conference?

Before starting BestieTalks we had no idea things like ‘blogger conferences’ even existed. Eight months after launching our website we came across BlogHer, who was holding a blogger event, and we decided immediately that we wanted to attend. The blogging world is vast and there is so much to learn and so many people to meet. We figured this would be a perfect opportunity to expand our knowledge and network with other bloggers. Our only communication with bloggers up until this point had been online and through social media. All of our interactions have been so positive online that we were not the least bit hesitant about jumping right into our first blogger conference. Have you ever thought about attending a blogger conference? Or maybe you already frequent them and had a similar experience as us? If you have never been to one, would you ever attend a blogger conference? We are here to tell you why you absolutely should!

Picking the Right Event for You

  • So a blogger conference has caught your interest, now what? Start reading up as much as you can about the event, the organization putting it together, and what other people have said about their experience at prior events. Don’t just pick an event without doing your due diligence. Google the event and read up on it! You want to spend your money and time on something that will be beneficial for you and your blog.
  • When you start researching information about a particular blogger event start following the organization or people associated with the event to keep up with new info and to make sure the event is something you really want to attend. This will allow you to find out all about them. We followed BlogHer on Instagram and Twitter and really grew an understanding of what to expect. We new after spending time following them online and reading about the event that this was a perfect conference for us to attend.

    Zuri Hall gave a great speech!
  • These events are not cheap by any means. Again, why its so important to make sure you pick one that you REALLY are interested in. Once tickets go on sale you usually don’t have to buy right away. There was a bunch of deals on tickets that happened on and off up until a few weeks before the event. Had we not been so eager we could have saved a few bucks by waiting for a sale! Scope them out like airline tickets. If you see any notices of them selling out then, of course, buy but otherwise just be patient a bit and you might get lucky with a discounted ticket!
  • You will most likely have to travel for the event. We met in Los Angeles for the BlogHer event so we made a whole weekend out it. You will have to factor in traveling and someone to stay. Again, attending one of these events is not cheap. Location, price, and the event are all critical factors in choosing a conference. We are lucky because we share out blog so we are able to travel together for things like this. Most bloggers will travel solo so make sure you pick somewhere where you will be happy about being alone. Don’t let traveling alone deter you! Bloggers are some of the coolest people! You will no doubt make a friend or two while you are there!
  • If there is an app you can download related to your event, download it! It will most likely have info and a schedule/itinerary of events that you will want to stay up to speed with. There will be lots of things going on during the event and seeing the schedule will help you decide what things are a must for you to attend.

    Alyssa Milano was a guest speaker!

What to Expect at a Blogger Conference

  • The event we attended was 2 days. The first day after arriving in Los Angeles we headed over to the venue to register and get your name tags. The venue was amazing and no shortcuts were taken on making the place look wonderful. You are buying a ticket to essentially hang out in a building all day. Expect that building to pimped out! Seriously, they go above and beyond for bloggers and EVERYTHING is picture worthy. Duh, we’re bloggers and we live for photo ops. You will have a shit ton available to you!
  • Bring a backpack because you will collect goodies and a bunch of swag during your time at the conference. Also, bring a notebook and pen. You will want to take notes and exchange info with other bloggers. You are going to learn after all so that notepad will come in handy! We have stickers with our logo/website on them that we wrote our handles on the back of. They were a great way to pass our info on to other people. If you have business cards or something similar you want to bring those along too!
  • Expect to have a multitude of guest speakers at the event. For example, we attend an informational SEO discussion with a panel of accomplished bloggers. We also checked out the social media discussion as well. There were bloggers that we knew and others we didn’t but every single one had something profound to say and an array of tips that we found very usual for our blog strategy.
  • Don’t be surprised if there will be celebrity guest speakers as well. Alyssa Milano was a head speaker at BlogHer 2019 and she was hands down our favorite! Massy Arias, Jameela Jamil, Jamie King, and Zuri Hall among many others were all in attendance and spoke during the event. It was very inspiring to hear stories from other successful women and be able to relate and learn from them. Prepare to be inspired and motivated!
  • You will be free to roam around as much as you want and we never felt once that we were trapped in our seats. A blogger event is meant to be social so make sure to introduce yourself and interact with other bloggers. It’s not every day that you are in a room full of people and have something in common with each and every one of them.
  • Expect to be spoiled. From endless drinks and snack option to all kinds of fun loot to collect from the vendor booths we guarantee you will be packing your suitcase with way more than you came with. So make sure to spare some room so you can take your goodies home with you!

    The panel of more guest speakers!

Are you Inspired yet?!

We hope this article inspired you to seek out your next blogger conference! If you are serious about your blog and growing your skills and audience then we cannot recommend this experience enough! Please let us know if you are thinking about attending!! Also, let us know of any events we should attend too. We would love to hear about your experience!

 

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Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Everyone on Your List!

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Stuff Those Stockings With Fun!

Finding stocking stuffers is so much fun for us. That’s because we love to fill them with random fun! This is where you put those prank gifts, tiny surprises, small thoughtful items and things that you randomly find that remind you of that person. Stockings are fun for all ages. You can get creative and make them them the highlight of Christmas morning! We are here to give you some insight on where to find the cheapest and fun stocking stuffers. 

 

Stocking Stuffer Search

  • Dollar Tree– The Dollar Tree is such a score on so many random goodies. We can literally find something for every stocking (and even stockings themselves). They have year around things like school supplies, candles, kitchen products, mini-games, tools and more. Dollar Tree has tons of snacks too!  These items can easily be thrown into stockings for just about anyone. And since it is the Dollar Tree, you can load up if your pocketbook allows you. 
  • Target– Target has that cheap section in front of their store where nothing is priced over $5! That is a go-to spot for us. Target is so trendy and cute and always has “what’s in” for that special someone. You can find coloring books, small toys, mini makeup, accessories and so much more. Next time you are in Target (and we all know that will be soon), take a look with stocking stuffing in mind.  
  • Walgreens– I know what you’re saying… Walgreens? Yes, Walgreens! They have some great everyday deals and a double score if you have rewards account with them. I go here for the sweet tooth in my life. I can find candy bars 2 for $1, and tons of other candies at a discounted price. Make sure you take a look at their discount aisle. This is where they place an orange sale sticker on items and they are majorly discounted. I’ve found Disney toys, perfumes, nail polishes, gardening supplies, chapsticks and so much more here. Finally, they also sell ‘As Seen On T.V.’ items that are so randomly cool. If you prefer CVS over Walgreens- they are just about one and the same! CVS is great for stocking stuffers too!
  • Five Below –  This store has TONS of options for stocking stuffers and yes, everything is $5 and below! This store is easily found in many states and if you don’t have this specific store then maybe you have a similar one that comes to mind. TOYS GALORE! Great store for the kid’s stockings! This store was like totally made for Christmas stockings! Stockings are meant to be filled with fun knick-knacks and this store is just the place for that! Go crazy and you won’t break the bank!
  • Amazon – You knew this one was coming! Duh, Amazon! Amazon has great stuff for any and all occasions and stuffing those stockings is no exception! You can search by, ” Stocking suffers for men” or ” Stocking stuffers for girls under $10″ etc. I have used Amazon for a lot of the stocking stuffers for the adults in my life. Unique and affordable items shipped right to my doorstep. 
  • TJ Maxx / Marshalls / Ross / – These department stores are great for a few reasons. First, they aren’t in the mall so you can avoid that whole circus but hitting up one of these stores. Secondly, they have great finds that are affordable and unique. You can find makeup items, clothing items, home goods etc. They even have toys and stuff for the kiddos. These are all good stops for finding things to stuff your stockings with!
  • Walmart – This is a good stop for all things Christmas related. Ran out of lights while decorating the tree?! Swing by Walmart to pick up a pack of lights and also check out the Christmas section. There are TONS of stocking stuffer ideas. We all know Walmart has just about everything you could want and you could fill your stockings with countless items from here. Walmart might not be as cute as Target but their price tag will make you smile. 
  • PetSmart– Don’t forget the furry children in your life! You can find great little gifts for your animals at pretty much all of the stores we mentioned above. We love giving our pets gifts on Christmas too. They are part of the family!

Happy Stocking Shopping!

We are less than 20 days away from Christmas! We hope you are enjoying this time of year and not letting the stress get the best of you! Remember, it’s not the amount of money spent but the thought that counts. Have fun while picking out gifts and finding the perfect stocking stuffers! The best part about stockings is that there is no blueprint or wrong way to do them!

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5 Ways to Minimize Holiday Stress

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The Most Wonderful or Stressful Time of Year?

December is a month that either you love, hate or tolerate. For some, Christmas is a very stressful time of year. Between all the decorations, food, parties, gifts to buy, traveling and entertaining family and friends and money, it is easy to let stress get the best of you.  We get so caught up in all the things that we feel we “have to do” for Christmas that we forget the meaning of Christmas. What about making it a priority to just enjoy the month of December? Choosing to be happy instead of stressed? We have 5 ways to help you make this Christmas one to remember- not one you want to forget.

5 Ways To Minimize Holiday Stress

  1. Avoid the mall: The mall this time of year is a fucking zoo! People everywhere and parking is a pain in the ass. You’re stressed before you even get into the mall! How about avoiding it altogether? Last year was my first year doing all of my shopping outside of the mall and it was a success! It’s easier than ever to get everything you need online. Amazon, Target, Walmart (free 2-day shipping w/out a membership) are all the obvious choices to find just about anything and everything on your gift list. FashionNova.com is another personal favorite if you are shopping for someone who loves clothes and they ALWAYS have discount codes you can easily find online. H&M, Victoria’s Secret, Wayfair, and Barnes & Noble are all great online shopping options as well! 
  2. Make Time for Yourself: Ok, so you just wrapped 73 gifts and decorated the entire house to look like the North Pole. That deserves a break and some relaxation. Watch your favorite Christmas movie and just CHILL. Make yourself some tea or your favorite cocktail and cuddle up on the couch. Read a book that you have been wanting to finish or take a bubble bath. You don’t need to give every minute of your day to others. You matter too and pampering yourself can be a gift to yourself! Self-care is important! Just remember to slow down and smile 🙂 
  3. Combat Stress With a Workout: Yes, exercise is pretty much our answer to all of our problems. It just makes you happy! Endorphins pumping lead to smiling and reducing stress. It’s a fact. Keep up with your workout routine during the holidays or start a new one if you already don’t have one. Hit up a yoga studio, the gym, go for a run or walk, jump-rope at home etc. Just do something to work your body and release that stress! If you don’t want to pay for a membership you can always do workouts at home following a YouTube channel!
  4. Be okay with Saying “No”: Lots of people want your time during the holiday season and that can be overwhelming. Saying no to some things is completely fine and can help you feel less stress. Spreading yourself too thin is a major cause of stress so try to stay away from doing that. Instead, communicate with people and they should respect your decision. It is a busy time of year so, using your time wisely will help you decrease stress. Weekends can be filled with parties, get-togethers and other events but don’t think you have to be apart of every single one. 
  5. Enjoy this time of year: The Holiday season can be stressful enough. Spending time with family can also be stressful for some people too. Do what makes you happy! That is what it is all about. Start a new tradition, do something with only your immediate family or a small group of friends. Things don’t always have to be so big and bold during the holiday season. If simplicity makes you happy, stick with that. Just enjoy this time of year because it will be over before you know it. 

Have a Merry Christmas

We hope that you found these tips useful and hopefully they inspired you to look at December in a different way. This really is a wonderful time of year and if you take the time to appreciate it you will have more happy memories and less stressful days. Cheers to a stress-free Christmas!

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Gift Guide For The Person Who Has Everything

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Gift Season

Tis the season for giving! But what do you give the person who seems to have everything? This is where we would like to help you out with our gift giving guide. 

Let the Giving Begin!

  • Subscription- A subscription is the type of gift that keeps on giving. Every year, I subscribe to a children’s magazine and have it sent to my niece’s house. I used to love receiving magazines in the mail as a kid and I wanted to keep the tradition going. Now, my nieces absolutely love getting their Highlights, Zoobooks, or National Geographic magazines in the mailbox. There is beauty box subscriptions and even yoga subscriptions! There’s pretty much a subscription box out there for everyone! Allure, Sephora, Buddhibox , etc. I was gifted the Buddhibox for my birthday and it is an amazing subscription. It comes with crystals, candles and all kinds of fabulous goodies! The Allure box is only $15 a month as well! Very affordable!
  • Cheap Hotel Stay- Providing someone with a paid hotel stay gives them an excuse to get out of town and explore another city. One to two nights is plenty as a gift. Groupon and Expedia have great hotel deals and make it easy to give this as a gift without letting the receiver know how much you spent. 
  • Nail, Massage or Day Spa Gift Card– If you know someone who loves getting their nails done or loves a good spa day then this is a great gift option! We both get our nails done religiously and trust us- a nail gift card would make someone totally happy! This could go to a male or female and they would happily pamper themselves.
  • Cookbooks or Cookware– Just about every other person out there is trying some sort of new diet or exploring alternative food options. A new Paleo, Vegan or Keto cookbook could help inspire them! Amazon is great for items like this as well. Simple but useful!
  • Pet Lover Gifts– Do you know someone who is completely obsessed with their animal?! Get creative and have a handmade portrait of them and their pet made on Etsy! There are so many cute and affordable options out there. There are vendors on Etsy who make beautiful artwork that can bring a photograph to life and make it into a piece of artwork! Just snoop your friends social media ( because you know they have their animal on there somewhere ) and send that pic over to the person you pick on Etsy and they will make you a keepsake gift to give this holiday season!
    I had this made of Neecy Girl via Etsy!Happy Gift Giving!

    Happy Gift Giving !

We hope that this quick gift guide gave you some inspiration for that person in your life who is tricky to shop for! Gifts are not about the cost but the meaning and thought behind them. These gifts are something that if given to the right person- they will be so thankful! Happy Holidays!!

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Guest Post : Making the Decision to end a Toxic Relationship

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Guest Post with Alana from SolelyLiving.Com

We teamed up with a fellow blogger named Alana. Here is a little bit from Alana about herself and her blog so you can get to know her a little bit more !

Hi there, I’m Alana Nicole! I’m a purebred Georgia Peach that loves apple pie and her dog more than words can express. I started Solely Living because I realized I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have it all figured out. I’m a paralegal, turned real estate professional, turned blogger! (​Whew! ) I was sick of having the same conversations with my besties and never getting any closer to figuring out the solutions. S.L. became my place to vent, let it all out and find my tribe. I created this lifestyle advice blog so other millennials can know they aren’t the only ones. I love connecting with the amazing women who seek my advice and give some of their own. We are here to learn from each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Making the Decision to End a Toxic Relationship

The story is usually about the same, right? Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. They meet for drinks, and a few weeks later are inseparable. Then, boy gets possessive/ controlling/ demanding/ aggressive/ needy/ annoying. (Circle all that apply.) Girl wants to end it but doesn’t know how without irritating him more. Girl ends up staying because it’s easier than leaving. Couple breaks up a few times but ultimately get back together after a few hours/days/weeks because, well, why not? Couple continues to live unhappily ever after until one of them finally steps away on faith.

If that ghost story sounds too familiar, I’m sorry you had to go through that. (I also want to make it clear that boys aren’t the only ones who can have those negative qualities, okay?) But, living in a home that feels like a cave doesn’t have to be your fate simply because you fell in love with someone who wasn’t quite right for you. Sometimes, your picker is a little off and you just need to re-calibrate.
But, ​how?

How do you leave someone you still kinda love without seeming like the bad guy? How do you keep your grace? How do you leave when it’s easier to​ ​​just stay? Sometimes fighting for your own well-being is more important than being timid. You have to take control over your life before you lose who you used to be without the person who’s been holding you back.

Here’s how I made that decision (​a few times…)

1. Write A Letter to Your Former Self  Tell her everything you thought she’d be and everything you need her to become. Tell her how you ended up here, why you aren’t happy and what makes you think you deserve better. Tell her everything you’ve been hiding from your friends, mom, aunts and siblings. Then, read it like it was your best friend telling how bad her relationship has gotten. Give her the best advice you can. Now, give that advice to yourself.

2. Create A Pros and Cons List of Your Relationship It might sound childish, but it works! What are you actually receiving from this relationship? What are you getting in return for being you? Which list is longer? Compare this list to what you always wanted from a partner. Do they make you laugh? Are they kind, sensible, sincere? Do you feel loved?

3. Figure Out Your Love Language People who love differently can love each other as long as they know ​how
​ to love each other. You can’t expect to be loved correctly when you aren’t attuned to how you need to be loved. Try this ​love languages test​, do some research and be honest with yourself. Have you gotten enough of the love you desire from your partner? Truth is, probably not, but have they even tried?

4. Step Out on Faith…In Yourself
You know what you want and you know you aren’t getting it. Now, you just have to trust in yourself. Pick a time and place that’s the most comfortable for you. Sit your partner down for a nice meal, go for a walk, get ice cream, whatever you need to do. Take your time, speak clearly and be in control. You know this is what’s right for both of you so now’s not the time to see both sides. Tell your partner what you’ve learned about yourself and your relationship through the steps you took above. Explain why you are looking for something different and why your particular puzzle pieces just don’t quite fit with each other. They don’t have to agree, like it or understand, but they do have to let you walk away.

Believing in yourself and standing your ground are two of the hardest qualities to possess but once you know who you are, no one will be able to make your soul waver again.

How to Connect With Alana

Did you vibe with this article from Alana? We sure did! Almost everyone has been in a toxic relationship at some point in their life and had to make the decision to end it. This could be a lover, friend, coworker or even a family member. Making the decision for YOU and what is best for YOU is SO important!

Connect with Alana for more of her articles!

Keep in touch : IG ​@SolelyLiving​ / Twitter @SolelyLiving​ / Pinterest ​@SolelyLiving​ / Facebook: SolelyLiving​ / ​Hello@SolelyLiving.com​ / ​www.SolelyLiving.com

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