Your Life is About to Change

Dear 17-year-old Jessica,

How are you girl? I know it’s been a pretty shitty past year. All you have been thinking about for the past two years is turning 18 and graduating. You know that once you graduate that you are free. Your senior year is supposed to be the best time of your life. The last big hoorah before you go out into the real world. But it has been anything but that. The things that you have already endured, unfortunately, won’t make sense until you get older. I know you moved out because you can’t stand your mom’s boyfriend. You’re living at a friends house and just trying to maintain so you can make it to graduation. I also know that you have no fucking clue about what you want to do with your life. Try to remind yourself that you don’t need to know all the answers right now. Some of the best things that will happen in your life won’t be planned. For the record, you made the right decision by leaving home. This decision is a turning point in your life that is going to lead you to be the independent woman that you are today.

The Next Five Years

For the past nine years, basketball has been a solid foundation in your life, but this is going to change. You are going to make some tough decisions that are going to take you down a different path. Everything serves its purpose, and when one passion dies, it allows you to explore new ones. Learn to be okay with this and have no regrets with your decisions, trust me, they will lead you where you need to go. If your instinct tells you to move to another state, do it. Embrace the unknown. You are going to meet someone who is going to give you a job opportunity. Take it. You won’t know it at the time, but it’s going to completely change your life and the money situation you will be struggling with. You will need to evaluate who you have in your life. Keep people in your life that add value to it. Don’t waste your time with people that affect your happiness or deter you from success.

There are going to be lots of people that will come into your life that stay longer than they should. Try to be more cautious with yourself and be okay with letting people go, even if it hurts. You are going to experience heartache, disappointment, deception, guilt, and confusion. Life is not going to be easy nor is it going to be a constant joyous party. One piece of advice, maintain a healthy lifestyle. Taking care of yourself is going to save you in more ways than one. Never stop loving yourself or taking care of yourself. No matter what anyone does to you or says to you. Always remember, that no one can love you like you can love yourself. You can be your best friend or worst enemy, don’t let anyone steal your self-worth or self-love.

It’s Going to Get Rocky

Your little sister is going to need you, and you are going to go through some complicated things together. When this time comes, it is going to knock your whole life out of balance. You might not be able to save her from the choices she is going to make, but you will be able to help her recover from them. Remember it is not your job to fix everyone and everything and sometimes all you can do is be there to support. You can only do so much for others, and you have to remember to still take care of yourself. Be fortunate for the people you will have in your life and those that will listen without judgment. Relationships will deteriorate with people that you couldn’t picture your life without. Bonds will also strengthen and grow through these difficult times. Take time to notice the balance of the good and bad that surrounds you. I promise you that you will get through this and you will be stronger and wiser for it.

And Jess, lighten up on your stepmom, please. I know you guys don’t see eye to eye on everything right now, but she loves you. Start hugging her and your Dad more often now. When you get older, you are going to realize that these two people will have your back and support you more than you can even fathom. Grandma is and will always be a vital part of your life. Never stop calling her and confiding in her. She will be your reasoning when you can’t make sense of the mess you might find yourself in.

The Rainbow at The End of The Storm

Over the next 13 years, you are going to make some beautiful memories and unbelievable triumphs. I’m telling you this now because I hope that it makes you excited about the future even if you have no idea what’s coming next. I also want you to accept that all the people that you know right now, at this very moment, won’t be in your life in 13 years. Of all the people you consider your friends right now you will only TRULY know about 5 of them. Accept this now. You are going to go through phases where you are alone. You will make decisions that will take you to new places and further away from the place that you call home today. The people that are meant to stay in your life will and they will be friendships that will last through time and distance. The bright side? You are going to meet all kinds of new people and some of them will become your closest friends.

You are going to have amazing life accomplishments. I repeat, AMAZING. Family and friends will disappoint you and not be there for these moments in your life but love and appreciate those that will. You’re going to meet a man that thinks the world of you so don’t let too many tears fall for the ones that walk away. He is going to make you feel so beautiful that your ego will grow, don’t fight it or the way he makes you feel. You deserve it all.

Are you excited about your future now? You should be. It’s going to be the bumpiest ride of your life, but the destination is going to make you extremely happy. Now take that go-getter, “can’t nobody tell me shit” personality of yours out into the world. It’s time to grow up into the person you are meant to become.

Trust me; she’s pretty fucking amazing!

Love,
The 30-year-old Jessica

P.s. Don’t over-pluck your brows! Don’t drink and drive and stay away from assholes and catty bitches!