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relationship

An Apology Card Without an Apology

May 6, 2018 by Jessica 7 Comments

No Return Address

I received a card in the mail with no return address.
I didn’t need to open it to know who it was from.
I let it sit unopened for months, unsure if I wanted to read it or not.
That big red envelope full of unknown words from someone who I don’t know anymore.
It’s been so long since we have spoken that you can imagine my surprise when this card showed up at my door.
A card with no return address that opening it almost felt like a test.

I received a card in the mail with no return address.
Sending this card is so typical of you.
No call, text or email but a random Christmas card?
I guess just calling me up was too hard?
Hiding behind pen and paper with intentions so unclear.
I didn’t know what to expect or what emotions it would cause.
A card with no return address that instilled hesitation, not fear.

I received a card in the mail with no return address.
I finally opened that big red envelope and, the familiarity of your handwriting swept over me.
Your words glossing over our history as I read that you miss me.
You congratulated me on graduating and getting married as if to let me know that you have kept up with my life.
I didn’t need congratulating what I needed was an apology and the fact that there wasn’t one cut through me like a knife.
I received an apology card without an apology.

I received a card in the mail with no return address.
Even if I wanted to respond, I have no way to contact you.
You sent me a card that I’m still trying to understand.
A card with no return address as if leaving you with the upper hand.
You said your life isn’t right without me in it.
A red card filled with words written in black ink that depicts the time that you have had to think.

I received a card in the mail with no return address.
I’m writing you this knowing you might never see it.
I made room in my heart for the words in your red card to sit.
I want you to know that I’m no longer sad, angry or bitter but that an actual apology would have been better.
I’m left with this red envelope that is tattered and worn, resembling our relationship that couldn’t weather the storm.
I received an apology card without an apology.


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Filed Under: Relationships, Relationships & Love Tagged With: card, distant, letter, poem, relationship

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