BestieTalks

relationships

5 Signs That you Need to cut Someone out of Your Life

by 24 Comments

Knowing Who is Toxic in Your Life

It can be hard to spot who is toxic in your life. The truth is though that sometimes we allow people to stay in our lives longer than they should. Not all friendships and relationships continue as they started. People change and sometimes for the worse. Just because you have known someone for a long time doesn’t mean they have a right to treat you like shit or make you feel miserable. You might not realize how much power you have when it comes to controlling your happiness. Start by evaluating the people in your life and really take the time to see who adds value and who might need to be cut from your life.

5 Signs to Notice

  1. They don’t make you happy. If there is someone in your life who doesn’t make you happy then you need to ask yourself why they are still in your life. Someone who constantly brings negativity, drama or sadness to your days is someone you need to cut out from your life. I know this could be a family member, a friend, or even a significant other but the reality is that you deserve to be happy regardless of that person’s title in your life. Take control of your happiness, it is YOURS after all.
  2. They don’t believe in you or support your goals. This is something that can be hard to spot and come to terms with. We automatically think that all of our friends and loved ones are going to believe in us and support everything we do but this is not the case. If there is something in your life that you’re passionate about and there is someone in your life who doesn’t appreciate that passion, then they don’t deserve to experience your success and achievements with you. Surround yourself with people who support you and want the best for you and SHOW it.
  3. They don’t make time for you. Life is busy and we all have our own things going on but making time for those that are important to us is crucial for any and all relationships and friendships to survive. We all pick and choose how we spend our time and who we make an effort to stay in touch with not only matters but shows. One-sided relationships don’t last very long. If there is someone who you make an effort to talk or see and they do not reciporate your efforts, then it might be time to stop trying so much. We all have our phones nearby and a simple call or text is really not that hard. If someone blows you off multiple times then maybe it’s time to stop giving your time to them and give it to someone you does make time for you. Did someone come to mind when you read this? Then you know what you need to do.
  4. They act like they are better than you. A friend shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself. If you don’t possess the things they posses and they make you feel lesser because of that then you need to serioulsy consider how much time you spend with this person. Why spend your time with someone you constantly throws everything they have in your face? How in the hell can that even be fun? Someone you talks down to you falls into this same cateogory. You don’t need that shit and I promise you that you will feel better after you do something about it. No one has the right to make you feel shitty about yourself. People who think they are always right, always “know’s whats best” or feel entitled to tell you about YOUR life  are people you should really cut out from your life. There are enough pressures form society about what you should have and look like. You don’t need additional stressors coming from your inner circle. 
  5. They are constantly negative.  There will be days where your friend or loved one will call you to bitch about their bad day and thats perfectly okay. We all have bad days. There are people who have bad days then people who act like they have a bad life. Every single day they are negative and every single day there is something wrong. People who are fueld by negativity and constantly bring it around you will start to have a negative impact on your life even if you dont’ notice it right away. Constant negativity and complaining it hard to endure. who wants to constatnly be surrounded by someone who can’t find happiness and simple joy? Again, life is too short. Not only is life too short but who we keep around us impacts our personalities, lives, and ways of thinking. You should try to surround yourself with like-minded people. People who are constantly negative will drag you down with them. Take notice and do something about it now. You will be thankful once that negativity is removed and notice how much weight is lifted.  

Can you Relate?

Did any of these hit home with you? Maybe someone or multiple people popped into your head as you read through this? Let us know if you have experienced this before and what finally happened for you to accept that you needed to cut someone out of your life? Never forget that your life and your happiness matters. Surround yourself with people you make you happy, make you a better person, and make you feel loved. At minimum, we all deserve those things!

Thank you for reading!

10+
Wanna Share This Talk?

Guest Post : Making the Decision to end a Toxic Relationship

by 5 Comments

Guest Post with Alana from SolelyLiving.Com

We teamed up with a fellow blogger named Alana. Here is a little bit from Alana about herself and her blog so you can get to know her a little bit more !

Hi there, I’m Alana Nicole! I’m a purebred Georgia Peach that loves apple pie and her dog more than words can express. I started Solely Living because I realized I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have it all figured out. I’m a paralegal, turned real estate professional, turned blogger! (​Whew! ) I was sick of having the same conversations with my besties and never getting any closer to figuring out the solutions. S.L. became my place to vent, let it all out and find my tribe. I created this lifestyle advice blog so other millennials can know they aren’t the only ones. I love connecting with the amazing women who seek my advice and give some of their own. We are here to learn from each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Making the Decision to End a Toxic Relationship

The story is usually about the same, right? Girl meets boy. Boy likes girl. They meet for drinks, and a few weeks later are inseparable. Then, boy gets possessive/ controlling/ demanding/ aggressive/ needy/ annoying. (Circle all that apply.) Girl wants to end it but doesn’t know how without irritating him more. Girl ends up staying because it’s easier than leaving. Couple breaks up a few times but ultimately get back together after a few hours/days/weeks because, well, why not? Couple continues to live unhappily ever after until one of them finally steps away on faith.

If that ghost story sounds too familiar, I’m sorry you had to go through that. (I also want to make it clear that boys aren’t the only ones who can have those negative qualities, okay?) But, living in a home that feels like a cave doesn’t have to be your fate simply because you fell in love with someone who wasn’t quite right for you. Sometimes, your picker is a little off and you just need to re-calibrate.
But, ​how?

How do you leave someone you still kinda love without seeming like the bad guy? How do you keep your grace? How do you leave when it’s easier to​ ​​just stay? Sometimes fighting for your own well-being is more important than being timid. You have to take control over your life before you lose who you used to be without the person who’s been holding you back.

Here’s how I made that decision (​a few times…)

1. Write A Letter to Your Former Self  Tell her everything you thought she’d be and everything you need her to become. Tell her how you ended up here, why you aren’t happy and what makes you think you deserve better. Tell her everything you’ve been hiding from your friends, mom, aunts and siblings. Then, read it like it was your best friend telling how bad her relationship has gotten. Give her the best advice you can. Now, give that advice to yourself.

2. Create A Pros and Cons List of Your Relationship It might sound childish, but it works! What are you actually receiving from this relationship? What are you getting in return for being you? Which list is longer? Compare this list to what you always wanted from a partner. Do they make you laugh? Are they kind, sensible, sincere? Do you feel loved?

3. Figure Out Your Love Language People who love differently can love each other as long as they know ​how
​ to love each other. You can’t expect to be loved correctly when you aren’t attuned to how you need to be loved. Try this ​love languages test​, do some research and be honest with yourself. Have you gotten enough of the love you desire from your partner? Truth is, probably not, but have they even tried?

4. Step Out on Faith…In Yourself
You know what you want and you know you aren’t getting it. Now, you just have to trust in yourself. Pick a time and place that’s the most comfortable for you. Sit your partner down for a nice meal, go for a walk, get ice cream, whatever you need to do. Take your time, speak clearly and be in control. You know this is what’s right for both of you so now’s not the time to see both sides. Tell your partner what you’ve learned about yourself and your relationship through the steps you took above. Explain why you are looking for something different and why your particular puzzle pieces just don’t quite fit with each other. They don’t have to agree, like it or understand, but they do have to let you walk away.

Believing in yourself and standing your ground are two of the hardest qualities to possess but once you know who you are, no one will be able to make your soul waver again.

How to Connect With Alana

Did you vibe with this article from Alana? We sure did! Almost everyone has been in a toxic relationship at some point in their life and had to make the decision to end it. This could be a lover, friend, coworker or even a family member. Making the decision for YOU and what is best for YOU is SO important!

Connect with Alana for more of her articles!

Keep in touch : IG ​@SolelyLiving​ / Twitter @SolelyLiving​ / Pinterest ​@SolelyLiving​ / Facebook: SolelyLiving​ / ​Hello@SolelyLiving.com​ / ​www.SolelyLiving.com

3+
Wanna Share This Talk?