BestieTalks

self love

Managing Your Mental Health

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Taking Care of YOU

There are many facets to taking care of yourself. One of the most challenging aspects of our health is our mental health. Mental health is not something that is normally taught to children. We are told we need to exercise and eat healthily but how many times were we told how to handle our thoughts and mental health? Not many. We just go through life trying to navigate the countless thoughts and feelings we have, and most of the time we are hesitant to talk about them.  Why do we do this? It’s ok to talk about what you are feeling and your mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. Recognizing, accepting and doing what YOU need to do to be happy and in a positive headspace, is part of taking care of your mental health. Taking care of YOU matters.

Social Media & Mental Health

Social media is a huge contributor to the state of one’s mental health. I (Jess) deleted my Facebook more than a year ago and it alleviated so much social anxiety. I developed a love/hate relationship with social media but always felt like I “had” to keep it in order to stay in touch with people, stay up to date and to even stay relevant. It sounds silly in hindsight, but its the truth. It was hard at first but as time passed, I started to live more in the present moment instead of mindlessly scrolling. Ask yourself, ” How many of these people on my timeline TRULY care about me?” Why do we feel such a strong need to comment and like people’s pictures like we haven’t seen or physically spoke within years or maybe ever? Just because you used to know someone, doesn’t mean you still do. If social media for any reason causes you anxiety, sadness or feelings of inadequacy- take a break from it.  In my personal journey, I learned so much about myself once I disconnected from the toxicity of Facebook. I don’t know if I will ever go back to FB, but I’m happy and that’s all that matters to me right now.

Key Reminders:

  • Unfollow negative people or pages that make you feel down on yourself. 
  • Allow time to “disconnect” or take a social media detox and be in the present moment.
  • Remember that not everything is as it appears online.
  • You have no obligation to stay in touch with people who don’t stay in touch with you.
  • “Likes” and the number of friends really means nothing at the end of the day. It’s quality over quantity, ALWAYS!
  • If it does not bring you joy then do you really need it?

Recognizing How You Feel

We all live such busy and fast-paced lives that sometimes we forgot to slow down and just breathe. Taking the time to evaluate how you feel and gauge the status of your mental health is so important. This is called being mindful. We feel different every day and accepting that you will have bad days allows you to be proactive and manage them better. Notice when you are feeling emotions that interrupt your day in a negative aspect. Take the time to evaluate why you feel the way you do and what triggered it. Having these mindful pauses will help you evaluate your body. You are allowed to feel whatever it is that you feel. Nothing is wrong with you because your mental health is not 100% 24/7. No one is perfect and no one has the right to make you feel ashamed for feeling the way you do. Take notice of people who drain you of your energy. Pay attention to who is and isn’t there for you in a time of need. Recognize how you feel and what promotes a positive headspace. You are in control of your happiness and if you need to make a drastic change for the sake of your mental health and well being.. then do it and don’t worry about who might have something to say about it.

Key Reminders:

  • Take time for yourself to do the things that make you happy.
  • Remove toxic people and end toxic relationships (with friends, family, colleagues, etc).
  • Remind yourself of all the things/people/experiences you are thankful for.
  • Confide in someone that you trust and that won’t judge you. Find a positive outlet.
  • Learn to be okay with being alone sometimes.
  • Trust your gut feeling. 
  • Love yourself and let go of expectations and the need for acceptance from others.

Mindfulness

I (Ray) am required to be trained and teach Dynamic Mindfulness in the classroom to my students. We use these skills in order to teach them how to manage their stress, self-awareness, and self-regulation. The techniques are there for you to focus on your breathing as well as connecting your breath to movement and being in the moment. Dynamic Mindfulness has been proven to improve school and classroom climate as well as the well being and health of the students. All of these techniques and skills can be adapted to fit your everyday life and that is what we teach our students. The techniques we use can be done by anyone just about anywhere. We encourage them to use these skills whenever needed and hope they carry them into adulthood.

Take A Moment

Taking time for yourself and your mental health is not selfish. You are important! Taking time to be aware of the now, will help you realize what may be good for you and the things that are harmful to your mental health. Be mindful of your mental health and reach out to a professional for help. You never have to go through anything alone. Help is out there and we will happily lead you in the right place to better your mental health. We both have family members who suffer from depression, schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety. We understand the havoc depression and anxiety can have on your life. You’re not alone – even if at times it might feel like it.

You are allowed to have bad days but you don’t have to go through them alone!

Please share how you deal with episodes of depression or what you have done/changed to better your mental health!

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You Deserve To Be Proud

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Too Proud for Some People

Being proud of yourself and your accomplishments is easy for some but hard for others. If you are “too happy” or “too successful” a lot of people interpret that as bragging, fake, or even as a lie. Some people might even develop negative feelings towards you because of your accomplishments. Does that mean you should not talk about your happiness and success? No, absolutely not. Just because others don’t know how to be happy for you, doesn’t mean you should stop being happy for yourself. Do YOU and be PROUD!

Backward Perceptions

It can be hard to not care about what others think of you. We live in a world where people thrive on likes (literally) and notifications that let them know others approve of them. Why are we so hungry for the approval of others? Why do we let other people determine our worth and happiness? Did you get that promotion to make others happy? No. You did it for YOU. Did you work your ass off to get your degree to make others happy? No. You did it for YOU. Did you find someone who loves you and treats you like a queen to make others happy?

No! What most people fail to acknowledge is the grind you had to put in to get that promotion. The hours of homework on top of working and handling all your other responsibilities was NOT easy. The number of assholes you had to go through and the tears you shed until you found someone who loves you like you deserve to be loved. All of your happiness and accomplishments were not just dumped into your lap. You worked hard, and most people have no idea the hell you had to endure. You deserve to be proud, happy and in love.

Self-Love is Not Narcissist

A lot of people get jealous of the success that they have yet to achieve. It’s not a race, but the ones who act like it is, are usually the ones losing. I’m not competing with anyone but myself. And if you are one of those people, put that energy into something you can do to improve your own life. Then you’ll understand the amazing feeling of accomplishing something you’ve been striving for. You deserve to be proud of what you worked so hard to achieve.

Be Proud of Yourself and Others

Next time you accomplish something your proud of, be PROUD! And when you see others proud of their accomplishments, cheer them on. Cause we all know that feeling when someone acknowledges your hard work and why not share that with others. being proud is a natural happy experience so don’t let anyone dull your shine.   

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A Story of Confidence, Growth and Change

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Confidence

It sits there waiting for you notice it.

It’s been there all along but for some reason, you hide it like it can’t be shown to others.

Who is going to talk about it if you don’t?

If you are responsible for creating it shouldn’t you be the one that is proud to unveil it?

Why do we feel that we must dim our light to avoid negative judgment from others?

It sits there waiting for you to notice it.

It’s time to pick it up and carry it with you.

Your confidence.

Take it, carry it with you, and be proud of who you are and your accomplishments.

Growth

Over the years I have watched myself grow as an individual. Growing up everyone around me thought I exuded confidence, but internally I struggled to be the person that the rest of the world saw. I’ve always been my own worst critic. It’s a blessing and a curse to notice all of your accomplishments and all of your flaws simultaneously. When it came to my accomplishments, I would be satisfied for a brief moment but quickly I would want more. I would put new pressures, goals, and timelines on myself, causing the pattern to start all over again. The joy that came with accomplishing something was a fleeting emotion. It is something I wish I would have allowed myself to absorb more of.

Maturity is something I recognize in myself. I have watched myself grow and change over the years. The happiness I allow myself to feel and the criticism that still lingers. I would be lying if I said that I was still not my own worst critic but I have learned to ease up on myself. Perfectionism is something that I no longer desire or chase. Instead, continual progress is how I try to view myself, my career, my relationships and my overall life in general. Not comparing myself to others or what society thinks I should look like or the things I should posses by a certain age. This is MY life and no one is living it but me. 

Change

When I started to consciously change my outlook, thoughts, and feelings, the things around me organically started to change with me. Choosing to be positive even in the most negative of situations. Deciding to tell myself I looked beautiful when seeing my reflection, instead of instantly formulating a mental checklist of all the things I need to improve. Congratulating myself over small and big accomplishments and remembering to take the time to be proud of myself and how far I’ve come. Talking to myself internally with respect and love instead constantly telling myself that I need to do more or be better. The changes I made within myself began to expand and become visible on the outside. Acknowledging myself, my accomplishments, my growth and the changes I’ve made have enhanced the confidence I’ve always had.

Different but the Same

I have always been the same girl but I am different in tiny ways that have made major impacts on my life. Being confident doesn’t mean you are stuck up or a narcissist. Being confident means you have faith in yourself and believe in your abilities to achieve all of your goals and dreams. It’s taken me 30 years to reach a point in my life where I recognize all of the things I am and all of the things I am not. I still have so much learning, growing, and transforming to do but loving myself for who I am right now, in this very moment, is a priority and a promise I have made to myself. A promise to never doubt my abilities. A promise to pick up my confidence, carry it with me wherever I go, and be proud of who I am and my accomplishments.


I’m sharing this with you because I know that I’m not the only one who can relate to this. Even if this resonates with only one person and it makes them realize how amazing they truly are, then this article did exactly what I hoped it would.

Please share your thoughts and stories! I love hearing other peoples perspective on life!

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